what an awful dilemma for Rhona in Emmerdale?

[Bobbisox]

Her unborn baby has Down's Syndrome and she is now faced with choosing to keep the child or having a termination, I can't imagine (in real life) what that could do to you, what a dreadful choice to have to make and Congrats to the show for tackling such a sensitive subject, I have been fortunate enough to meet a few Down's children/adults, what a joy they are too

[welshlibranr]

Well craft, though I have met some Downs children who are very special and loved, I have also met some who were not loved, and because their parents couldn't cope with them, (they can be very demanding, for all of their lives) they ended up in a home, and their lives were not fulfilled at all!........the dilemma is that the test doesn't tell how severe the condition is, if mild, they can live a fairly normal life, given time to adapt, if severe, then they need care 24/7 forever!.................It's a hard decision to make given that the parents have no idea of the level of care needed at the time!....

[Bobbisox]

well said Welshy, craft seemed to pick up on me saying I felt fortunate to have met some Downs people, and I do

[craft1948]

Whatever Bobbi.......

[Bobbisox]

yeh whatever craft...

[jackthehat]

In Northampton, there was a cafe which was staffed by people with Down's and I used to make a point of going in on a Saturday morning for breakfast. I hope that I helped, in some small part, all of them enjoy some small measure of independence.

However, during the season here in Blackpool, it always tugs at my heart (rightly or wrongly) to see the number of exhausted-looking, quite elderly parents accompanying their mature Down's offspring and having to shepherd them like small children. In the days when it was only 'after' your child was born that you realised he/she had Down's, it must have been a unexpected shock; now, at least in some cases, the test can warn fairly early on in pregnancy but the soul-searching after diagnosis must be dreadful..............and decisions have to be made so quickly, too.

[craft1948]

My daughter and her partner took his 45 year old Downs syndrome brother to Blackpool in October Jack........he had a lovely time.

[Bobbisox]

jth , good answer

[ummmm]

There use to be a downs lad that came in our pub every week to play pool. I tried to have a game with him but he always told me 'NO, I want to play your Mum'

She played him every week...she beat him every week...and he loved her :-)

[welshlibranr]

Yes Bobbi, I have met some Downs children who are only mildly affected, and can with time live quite an independant life, with support, but then I have met lots of others whose elderly parents are still trying to care for them, and worrying about what will happen when they are gone, if the child outlives them, an then there are the ones in care!.............They have been abandoned by parents who are not bad people, they just can't cope!.............it's difficult!.............

[ummmm]

What's a disability though?

My 3 kids are all blind in one eye....apparently from me :-(((

[Bobbisox]

when I was about 18 Welshy, there was a girl lived next door to us, I loved her, so loving she was.

[jackthehat]

I'm glad about that, craft, it's a fun place to visit :o)

The parents always seem to consist of a small bird-like mother and a stooped chap with a comb-over; and I understand that I can't know the circumstances of all of them, but the parents seem so care-worn with all the years of caring. Or it could be that I'm an over-sentimental softie who knows three-fifths of sod-all and they are all quite happy with their lives..............:o)

[craft1948]

Tim is his brother's carer, but all his large family chip in to help as his parents are dead. He is hard going but can be very loving too.........

[Bobbisox]

which brings me back jth to me saying how fortunate to meet these people, they were all happy with their lives

[welshlibranr]

Yes Bobbi, they are very loving and gentle in the main, not always, depends on the severity of the Downs!.............sometimes they can be very difficult and frustrated too, especially as they mature, they are often very strong too, so not easy for elderly, (by this time) parents to cope with!.............heart wrenching for those parents when they have to accept that they can no longer cope with the care needed!................

[craft1948]

Oh dear......

[jackthehat]

You been poking your kids eyes, ummmm ?

I bet you used that tiny pool-cue from the old Vol. :o)

[welshlibranr]

Jackthehat, the thing is that these parents of Downs folk didn't know that their child was going to be this way, loyalty makes lots of them take care of their offspring, but it's a very hard life for most, It takes it's toll both pyysically and mentally, lots of marriages break up because of the strain of it all, and now at least their is a choice, although it's a very difficult one!.........

[jackthehat]

I understand that.
I just wonder how many of them may have made a 'different' decision has they found out in pregnancy that they were carrying a Down's child ?

[NOX]

My wife would never have tests to determine whether or not any of our kids would have been affected and having spoken to her recently (she had a miscarriage with her new partner's baby) she still feels the same at 43 even thought I gather there is quite a high risk of abnormalities at that age. I don't condemn anyone who chooses those tests or who chooses to terminate but I don't think it's anything I would choose to do.