Would You Hold It Against Your Friend If...
Family & Relationships0 min ago
brain games
I wondered why a frisbee got bigger and bigger the nearer it got to me. Then it hit me.
Nicola Sturgeon and her driver were cruising along a country road one evening when a cow ran in front of the car. The driver tried to avoid it but couldn't - the cow was killed. Nicola told her driver...
..a guy was playing on a golf course in Kenya, when a lion leapt at him out of the bushes. His caddy pulled out a rifle and shot the lion just before it could do any damage. "Thank God you had that...
A young reporter went to a retirement home to interview an aged but legendary explorer. The reporter asked the old man to tell him the most frightening experience he had ever had. The old explorer...
The owner of a small deli was being questioned by an Income tax inspector about his tax return. He had reported a net profit of £80,000 for the year. "Why don't you people leave me alone?" the deli...
The girl knelt in the confessional and said, "Bless me, Father, for I have sinned." "What is it, child?" "Father, I have committed the sin of vanity. Twice a day I gaze at myself in the mirror and...
An elderly Frenchman was slowly walking down a countryside lane, admiring the beautiful spring day, when over a hedgerow he spotted a young couple, naked, making love in a field. Getting over his...
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Today, my daughter called me 'Birth Person'
I replied, 'Yes, Financial Drain?'...
Be prepared
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By their Bar Staff: Karl Sburg and Stella Artois As the taps started to run dry in Wetherspoons pubs around the country, boss Tim Martin explained that they were running out of excuses. ‘We are...
A young lady walks into a supermarket and on her way round she spots the chap who's had his wicked way with her the previous evening after they had met in a club. He was stacking washing powder boxes...
A man and his wife are awakened at 3 o'clock in the morning by a loud pounding on the door. The man gets up and goes to the door where a drunken stranger, standing in the pouring rain, is asking for a...
One day a man tried to get a job at a great company. He passed every test with flying colours. However, at the final interview part, the boss told him that his constant blinking would bother...
A man bought his wife a coat made from 500 hamster skins.
She wore it when they went to Blackpool for the day ... trouble was he couldn't get her off the big wheel....
My son has been eating electrical cords.
My partner said, we need to ground him until he conducts himself better.....
On my allotment , an entire lot of my prize onions have had some allergic reactions. It looks like that they have broken out in chives!
My book about Poltergeists is literally flying off the shelves..
