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Seperation Anxiety

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hmc | 22:03 Fri 09th Dec 2005 | Parenting
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Hi , I have a 10 month old daughter who has had quite bad seperation anxiety for 4 months now. At first it upset me that she became hysterical whenever I got up and left the room, then it began to annoy me. I've changed my life quite dramatically to be with her all of the time, but still she becomes inconsolable when I walk away from her. Does anyone have any advice? Could she be feeling insecure because her dad left at 5 months and hasn't seen her since (he was quite hands-on)? Do baby's with seperation anxiety tend to grow into insecure control freak kids? I've started her at a nursery a couple of hours a week in the hope of encourging her to be more independant. Could this actually make things worse or will she settle there? I don't want to emotionally damage her in any way. What should I be doing? Thanks in advance.

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keep her at nursery. my son was the centre of my life as a single parent but I knew he needed his own friends. after a few weeks he stopped crying when I left him (and I KNOW how hard that is). Now he's asks to be with his friends. a child who is happy to leave is one who knows he'll be welcomed back. Stick with it, I know it's tough but it does work
At 10 months she is at the stage of "Specific attachment" This means that one specific attachment is important to her, obviously this is you. This can go on for a couple of months (depending on the child) but she will start to show other attachments soon and will be fine :-)
Is she pleased to see you when you get back? I assume she is, this means she is what they call "Securely attached" It's the healthiest way for her to be, honest. She will be FINE and won't have problems with insecurity because of this. Try not to feel bad, I know it's not easy. Good luck x

as a child who grew up in a single parent family i can assure you that your child won't grow up to be an insecure control freak. i think all 10 month olds go through it i myself have a 10 month old who can be very clingy! i think you are doing the right thing remeber that you are a person too and need to stay sane for the sake of your child. good luck.

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