What can I put on a grave?

[Louise1234]

I know this may sounds stupid but what can I put on my mums grave? She passed away last month and we were very close as I am still young, I want things to put on her grave that will stay there and last, making her grave vibrant and "positive" just as she was but I don't really know what to put other then flowers.

Thanks

[4getmenot]

a photo in a frame of all the family, do you have children? Its quite sad but nowadays even flowers get destroyed so I would be very reluctant to put anything too expansive on there. xx

[4getmenot]

*expensive*

[funnygirl]

Flowers!

[daniela31]

Are you allowed to plant a small shrub or bush or rose tree or something like that?

[tazmac25]

On my daughters grave I put fairy wands and glitter at christmas - i think it all depends on the local council etc to what is ok
My best advice would be to have a look around what other people have placed on their loved ones 'gardens'
best of luck to you and I hope you find the right thing to remember her by

[daniela31]

On my brothers grave on his birthday and Christmas I go and pour a can of beer on the grass....so he can have a drink.
It's all personal to you really isn't it?
;-)

[Louise1234]

No do not have children, I am only 18 so we still had very much of a reliant relationship with each other. I did think about a picture but I think it may get blown away? Not aloud to plant anything as of yet as the ground has not settled again yet (apparently)

[tazmac25]

In time you can plant bulbs then each year in the spring they reappear
You can get a photo enamelled and that would last
Becarful of rose bushes as thet can over years get over grown

[4getmenot]

you can get a cheap enough frame for it and nail it into ground. Maybe a pic of you and siblings? your dad?

[tazmac25]

Barbeque skewers are good for keeping things in place like a teddy bear

[lil75]

You can get silver lanterns from ikea and put candles in them...ive seen them on graves and there not a lot of money

[PatriciaH]

290257748864 on e bay and if you type in grave to search for other things you should get some ideas x

[sanden]

Hi Louise, Really sorry to hear about your Mum. It must be a very tough time for you. My grandson's grave has some bright coloured windmills, candles and a few cuddly toys. You can have wind chimes, but some councils are funny about these bits and pieces.
Its such a personal thing that people should be allowed to do as they wish.
I am sure you will see bits when you are shopping that you think are appropriate - I have seen bright sunflowers etc(not real ones), that would really brighten the area up.

[Hermia]

We planted a couple of plants on my gran's grave as she loved her garden.

I would take the local area into consideration when deciding what to put on the grave. If the graveyard is a shortcut or a hang-out or the area isn't that great things may get stolen or kicked over which will be distressing for you.

You may also want to consider putting something somewhere else. My father died when I was not much older than you and my mum and I planted a memorial tree in the grounds of our local National Trust property (we had to give a donation). He used to go for walks in the grounds so it is much nicer to go there than to some place he never set foot in in his life.

[terambulan]

Sorry for ur distress.

Maybe plant an apple tree.....if its allowed?

[moonshadow]

My Mum passed away when I was seventeen Louise, so I know how you feel. One way to remember your Mum is to keep a lovely photograph of her at home and every birthday and Christmas buy two bunches of her favourite flowers and put one in a vase next to her picture and the other on her grave. I have seen people place many things on their loved ones graves over the 39 years I have been tending my Mum's grave and seen the upset when things are stolen or trashed. It's so hard to let them go, but she will live on in your heart, take care XX

[JockSporran]

Don't overdo it. A local council has recently had to put a stop to people putting fairy lights, windmills, solar powered garden lights and suchlike on graves. Keep it tasteful and don't try to 'show up' the other graves round about.

How about planting a rose bush?

[Tups]

When my husband died, my children and I each wrote a letter, saying all the things we wished we had said when he was alive (he died suddenly). The letters were placed in the coffin between his hands and were burned with him. I then wrote a letter every day for several months, saying all sorts of things, from the everyday things I'd done to complaining about the way the children were behaving. Gradually, I found I was writing less and less often. All those letters are in a locked box. I shall probably never read them again and who knows, one day I might even ceremoniously burn the box and its contents. But knowing they are there is very comforting. Even now, 7 years later. You might find comfort in doing a similar thing Louise. x

[saxy_jag]

I would contact your local or parish council and ask them what is allowed, as all councils differ in their rules and can get pretty tough if you don't stick to them.

It's also worth asking the funeral director that conducted the burial - they're an absolute mine of information on these things, as we found out today when arranging my mum-in-law's funeral.

[Eve]

How about an engraved plaque with a special quote, maybe something like "as much as best friend as a mother" or a quote which is special to you too even if it is something no-one else would understand.