why why why

[leeandjoanne]

i have been with my husband for nearly 7 years married for 3 and half on sunday he told me he felt nothing for me he loves me but not in love with me he says hes been trying for the last 12 months and nothing has changed . i keep saying now i understand how he feels maybe we shud give it another go weve never had any big problems like this b4 and i dont want to throw away nearly 7 years i love him so much and am still in love with him i want to make it work . he keeps saying hes been trying for the last 12 months but now hes told me how he feels maybe things can work i just wish he told me 12 months ago and it wouldnt of got to this stage what does everyone think . Im so heartbroken and one minute im ok next min im in tears

[Sqad]

3 choices:
a) Live with it and try and accept it.

b) Trial separation.

c) Divorce.

This is a normal response from a man after 7yrs of marriage....NORMAL.

Is there a third party?

[tamborine]

dont waste anymore time.....kick him out OR tattoo doormat on your forehead.

[leeandjoanne]

no none of have anybody we cant afford for one of us to live seperate for a bit and if we sell now we have to repay to the local council �15,000 l so have to wait 12 months long story to do with right to buy . I just dont understand how that he cant give it one last go now i know how he feels and we can do things different etc

[Sqad]

tambo....clearly you have had a bad experience with men in the past. We must meet, have dinner together and discuss it in an adult way.......and then to the bedroom....LOL

[leeandjoanne]

im not a doormat and i want things to work im not going to kick him out were grown adults .

[leeandjoanne]

everything thats going on in my head ive got no one to talk too all i wanted was some sensible advice

[tamborine]

worse.....he hasn't got any money. get RID!

[Sqad]

Oi!.....what was wrong with MY advice?

[tamborine]

sqad, my OH was the best......once I got him trained!

[Bbbananas]

he said he feels nothing for you, but loves you, even though he's not 'in love' with you?

How old is he?!

He sounds a bit of a selfish confused git to me, not to mention very contradictory - still loving you is NOT the same as feeling nothing.

Have you considered Relate or some such similar couples counselling?

[tamborine]

leeandjoanne....it wont work till you face him. Kick him out and watch him try to squirm back.

[leeandjoanne]

hes 25 and im 28 i thought about counselling but proberly cant afford it we love each other and when i was upset and we cuddled i said like surley you feel summint when we cuddle and he says not like how he used to but he loves me just not in love with me

[leeandjoanne]

thanks vibrasphere and i love him with all my heart NONE OF US HAVE ANYBODY ELSE . no nothing like this has happened before weve had our ups and downs like anyone but not him telling me this . I just wished when he started feeling like this he told me and we could of worked from there but instead he wanted to try by himself and try and keep me happy I love him with all my heart and i thought we were going to be together forever when we cuddle he says like its not the same as it used to feel but to me its always been the same

[tamborine]

Oooooooops sorry, spring-clean the house, get all washing & ironing done. Fresh bed-linen. Kids bedded early, scrumptious 3course meal ready on dressed table. Bath, sexy Ann Summers underwear, hair/nails immaculate, killer heels ready for when he comes home.



















No response from him? Grab the goolies & Bobbit! Then kick him out!

[DEN53]

Hi leeandjoanne - every marriage goes through a rough patch and everybody changes throughout life - I think feelings about someone can also change. When first married there is lust/love, and if you are really lucky then this will continue throughout married life. I think if everybody was honest this does die down after a while, when love, mutual respect and friendship takes over.

Perhaps your hubby is feeling confused about these type of feelings. He says he still loves you (which is a good sign !)

Its hard to give concrete advice on here without knowing you and him personally.

Its not always easy to make a marriage work and if you have both come to the end of the line, then it would make sense to go your separate ways now.

[leeandjoanne]

i havent tho he just says he dosent feel for me like he used too and i told him all marriages are not the same like 10 20 30 yrs on they all die down sumwhere eventually he does say he loves me im his girl and will always be in his heart