how does one deal/cope with suicide

[Zhukov]

Following on from an incredibly thoughtless/crass remark by an ABer,who obviously had never been touched by the heartbreaking tragedy of a Suicide.

Friend of mine"s Brother sadly decided to end it all,by leaping in front of a Train.He was a very intelligent young man,with a bright future in store.

It was 15 or so years ago,and is not talked about often,outside the family.My friend is lovely,but on the few times I"ve seen her talk of her Brother,she becomes extremely distraught,sad and very angry with him.

Can there be many worse events,to befall a family?

[Maydup]

I don't think there can be many worse events to deal with zhukov. Your friend is still so cross with her brother for leaving her as if it were yesterday.

I imagine the grieiving process to be very slow and probably as bad or worse than whatever it was that was troubling the person who has committed suicide. So hard to forgive them unlike ilness or accident which wasn't their fault but either nature or situation.

Its quite possible your friend could benefit from some counselling Z, but not easy to approach is it?.

[nailit]

Ive been to more than one funeral of a suicide victim (and I do view them as victims as they have so often been let down by the people who are supposed to help them). Tragedy is an understatment.

[Jan1957]

I honestly don't know how to answer this as I have been on both sides very recently. All I can do is honestly say that people who do this are not in their right minds at the time and that's why they have no thought for the people left behind. I am going to a friend's funeral next week who committed suicide and just can't comprehend why he did it but we just don't know what people are really going through because some people just can't show it or don't know where to go to get help.

[Ann]

It must be so shocking I can't imagine what it must be like for the family to bear. I really feel for your friend to lose her brother in this way. My sister in law's sister who was an absolutely lovelygirl, got in with a bad fella who completely led her astray with drink and drugs. It was dreadful to see her spiral downhill at an alarmimg pace, everyone, family, friends and employer tried to help her, but she was in this evil man's clutches and sadly she was admitted to hospital with her liver completely wrecked and no hope. They were attempting to wean her off them but she got MRSA and died within days. We all felt it was like a suicide, as it was an addictive illness which she did to herself. Bless her, I have never forgotten her or the sad end to her life.

[douglas9401]

Family aside, the friends who knew and did their best to help with what they knew was going on deserve recognition for their efforts and their loss.
15 is very young but it's hard to deal with at any age.

[Old_Geezer]

One copes in the same way one copes with any of life's tragedies. One keeps going and eventually, if you allow it, the mind turns it into a sad past event not something that wants to impinge on your present each moment it can.

[starone]

It is bad to lose anyone prematurely (I lost my son in a road accident) but with suicide, I think it must be dreadful. To think that life is so bad that they cannot stand it another moment. I cannot even imagine it.

[erin-x]

It must be excruciating for families to deal with. I can remember being at school one day and our guidance teacher came into the class to get one of my classmates. She took him out of class and into her office down the hall and told him about his sister who had overdosed that morning. I can still remember hearing him screaming from down the hall. Horrible!

[craft1948]

A friend at work's estranged husband decided to hang himself in the garage at her house, and was found by his 2 children. They both ended up having counselling for a very long time.
She was full of anger for quite a long time afterwards, and I don't think ever forgave for what he'd done to the children.

[ummmm]

My Aunt committed suicide. She downed a rake of pills and washed them down with vodka. She left my 12 year old cousin, and her 18 month old sister, to find her.

His comments were crass.

[micmak]

Both my elder brother and younger sister died through alcohol. They were both told 'If you carry on drinking you will die' They both died one in 85 one in 97. Why did they drink to excess, who knows. Both married, no financial worries.

[MarkRae]

I can't begin to imagine what this type of bereavement must be like. Twenty or so years ago a work colleague committed suicide. All of her colleagues were stunned, as she seemed so happy and full of life. But the saddest part of all was the letter from her parents which said that their daughter had "died by her own hand" - their words - and pleaded for any shred of information that we might be able to provide to help them understand why she had done it, as she'd left no note. We had none to offer...

[Ann]

Twelve years ago we worked with a lovely lady in our office, she was a bit older than us (just into her 60s) and used to make us laugh a lot with her witty comments and dry humour, she was a bit scatty and had a lovely family, nice caring husband (who we all knew) and lovely little grandchildren who she adored. Imagine our absolute horror on hearing one morning that she had hanged herself. In our worst nightmare we could not imagine her doing that, for one thing we can't even imagine her knowing what to do, she was so scatty ........ we all went to the funeral in a dream, it was really really sad, and twelve years on, my friend and I often talk about her with fondness and sadness and wonder why she did it ..................

[ELVIS68]

I've been to quite a few suicides on the railway because of my job and each time is the same, on the way there you're thinking of the person and what was going through their mind and once on scene you tend to blank out that it's actually a person that has done this.
After the body parts are removed and the "clean up" is done it's when you get home to your family when it really hits you as to what has happened.

That's just my job, I dread to think what the families go through

[daffy654]

Whose comments were crass and on what thread?

[Ann]

Aww Elvis how do you cope with that - you must be a saint, someone has to do that awful job but I certainly couldn't go near.

[Jan1957]

There are just some times that you can't talk to people or actually make people listen to what you are saying because they all think they know you. When you have been the life and soul of the party for most of your life and you are expected to carry on the same even if you are feeling down it is very difficult.

[Zhukov]

DTcrossworflan....Who else!

[237SJ]

I know or have known of quite a few people who have committed suicide. When I was at school a boy in my class had an older brother who shot himself over a girl. A couple of the customers in a pub where I worked as a student did it. A couple of people from my current work have also gassed themselves. An old friend`s mother came to stay with her a couple of years ago. She travelled about 150 miles to her house then hung herself from the staircase. The head of our IT department threw himself off a multistory carpark right in front of my friend. Apparently he seemed as right as rain in the morning, had his lunch and then jumped. The balance of their mind is disturbed and nobody can imagine what that`s like I guess.

[micmak]

Do you not think that some suicides are due to pain? Mental or physical, not everyone can afford to go to Digitas in Switzerland, nor are most able to.