How Do You Split Yourself Between Two (Or More) Children

[bednobs]

My daughter is coming up for a year old, I would like to have another baby as my family doesn't feel complete. How on earth do those of you who have more than 1 manage to split your time and emotions between more than 1 child? is it as exhausting as it feels like it's going to be?

[sherrardk]

I found it quite easy going from one child to two in terms of getting stuff done, etc as boy #1 was 3 1/2 years old when boy #2 came along. I did think it would be impossible to love boy #2 as much as boy #1, but of course I did. With the others, I didn't have the same sort of emotional worries because I knew I would love them but getting stuff done became harder. I have become super-organised so that I am not spending all of my time doing house stuff so that I have the time to spend with each of them. Until the things went to school in September I had no time for myself until they went to bed but then I didn't do any house stuff. It is hard work at times, but some people make it way harder than it needs to be.

[ummmm]

Looking back I don't know how I managed it but I don't remember it being hard.

[dotty.]

I can't remember what it was like when they were small bednobs as it was a bit of a blur, but now they are all older, 31, 28 and 26, it's easy. They all live in their own houses and they all have different demands. Eldest needs me to help with the new baby and his 14 month old, daughter (28) needs me to run her to college/shopping etc, son, youngest, needs advice on how to write to tax office, deal with landlord bank etc. It's far more complex and time cinsuming than it use dot be when they would all come home from school at the same time, need feeding and then sending upstairs to do their homework, then i could at least get other things done. Now I have to make time for them individually and it isn't easy when they expect me to jump up and race off to help.

Wouldn't change it for the world.

[bednobs]

i guess you are right: i have already forgotten what it was like when i was expressing every 3 hours, even overnight. You just do what you have to

[ummmm]

Is Phoebe a good baby?

[cazzz1975]

You tend to adapt automatically, it may seem daunting beforehand but you soon get used to it.

[bednobs]

yes, she's very good

[ummmm]

And you get really good at cutting corners.

[gness]

Bednobs...seeing two of them together makes up for all the extra work and worry. You'll love it. x

[dotty.]

It is actually quite an interesting thing to look back and reflect on the memories of being a young mum, I was always exactly the same with each of them but they were 3 quite different characters with different levels of need and attention, and so until you've got that little person you won't know how much of you they'll need to take away from everything else in your life. You yourself won't change,

[bednobs]

lol i will never be able to look back at being a young mum

[DaisyNonna]

Each child brings his or her love, so my Granny said.

[dotty.]

well i wasn't either actually i was in my thirties but it all felt new!

[bednobs]

ps now all i have to do is convince mr 'nobs it's a good idea. He says we should just count our blessings and be happy with what we have. obviously having a baby at 28 weeks, then 27 weeks and then 30 weeks means i will be at risk again and i'm not really sure we could cope if another of our children died ... it's a big decision

[chrissa1]

There are 4 years between my two, (now 33 & 29) so my son had started school when littley was born.

[erin-x]

Have you been watching that 16 Kids and Counting, Bednobs? ;)

Obviously I don't have any kids but from working with babies I know that routine is key.

And when I do have kids, I would like them to be close in age. There is 8 years between my brother and I... I feel like an only child most of the time :(

[chrissa1]

Oh bednobs. I didn't know that. If it feels like the right time for you, then it Is the right time.

[yogi-bear]

Mrs Bear and I have got four children....all ours, Bednobs and looking back, and even now, we always try/tryed and make time for them...the eldest two dont need too much attention now as 17 and 19 and have their own stuff to do, and one's at Halls in Uni, so not here apart from breaks. Just went back on friday and loving Uni life too, the little charmer ( takes after his Dad you know ).

For the girls, we are always about if they need us and they know that and when they do, spend good quality time with them.

You must be a great parent, bednobs, and so having a second or indeed a third or fourth if you want a large family, will be a learning curve for you that you most certainly will enjoy and cherish in years to come. xx

[tenrec]

Agree with Sherr, it makes you super organised if you have a few children. I had 5, and never thought I would cope, but it was a doddle once I was organised. Now it is just me and him and nothing get done!!

[bednobs]

i do worry that my fsamily will NEVER feel complete because we don't have Heather or William, and will never have them. I can't carry on having babies for ever - i am getting on a bit (a lot actually)