Do you have a sex-positive relationship?

Continued research has shown that the best way to live and enjoy life is to do it with a positive mentality when it comes to all things, including your sexuality. We live in a complex social order where sexuality is seen as a commodity; advertisers reel audiences in with sexually explicit billboards and over the top provocative fragrance commercials. Why? Because sex sells.

And yet, when people actually express their sexual desires, in reality, they are often made to feel guilty or ashamed for liking sex. Although sex is a natural component of being human, sex is one thing that people struggle to convey candidly. Often, it is not until the lights are off and the curtains are drawn in the bedroom that individuals become free to explore sexual desires.

Sadly, most of us were raised surrounded by puritanical notions of sex; that it was bad, wayward, and above all, shameful. Sex positivity deals with all the stigmas and taboos relating to sex. When you are sex-positive, it means that you are honest, open, and you accept everyone’s sexual lifestyles and proclivities, just as long as they are consensual.

Sex positivity is a buzz word that has been making the rounds over the years. However, sex positivity is a lot more than just a trend. Rather, it is an agenda that seeks to inform and heal while turning its nose up at discrimination, marginalization, and ageism.

In essence, sex-positivity starts with chucking any perceptions of what is and is not considered sexually ‘normal’. For you to be sex-positive, you have to have a non-judgmental receptivity of other individuals’ sexual styles, preferences, and interpretations.

Why sex positivity is important in relationships

Whether we admit it or not, we all want sex-positive partners. A sex-positive partner is someone that embraces sexuality with the idea that sex is a healthy and pleasurable component of a healthy relationship.

Sex-positive partners are also more likely to encourage sexual experimentation such as opening up the relationship, allowing self-pleasure or introducing sex toys to ensure that everyone’s needs in the relationship are met.

When a relationship is sex-positive, the people in the relationship do not judge the other person’s sexual desires or acts. Sex-positive partners create a comfortable environment where everyone can be themselves.

In many ways, sex positivity is often an individual pursuit and it can be very lonely if you are not in a relationship with a likeminded partner. So how can you have a more sex-positive relationship? Here are some tips to help:

Don’t be ashamed of your sexual desires

Most sexual desires are branded as dirty or pervy. As stated above, most individuals are raised in environments where sex is demonized and sex is a no-go topic. On the contrary, sex is a normal part of adult life and is completely beautiful, as long as there is consent from all parties involved.

Sex-positive couples share an open and positive attitude towards sexual desires and intimacy. And we all know that couples that are not afraid to be vulnerable with each other and have open dialogues regarding sex are more likely to have a vibrant sexual relationship.

Seek educational opportunities

For you to be a sex-positive couple, you must try to learn as much as you can about sex. This not only means understanding STIs, but it also means learning how to protect yourself and your partner/s. Sex positivity in the relationship can also be improved if couples are more willing to learn about each other's bodies, which will cause them to explore new and fresh ways to be together.

Appreciate each other’s bodies

When couples love and appreciate each other’s bodies, they make healthier decisions about them from sex to the way they express themselves and even how they carry themselves. Loving one another’s bodies also means that both parties know how to honor each other’s boundaries.

Sex-positive couples know that is normal and even expected to not want to engage in sex all the time; they respect the other partner’s decision when they are not up to it. When couples are sex-positive, they are more willing to be open about the frequency of sex in the relationship and any mismatched desires are addressed to avoid problems from erupting later on.

Sex-positive couples have no judgments

Sex-positive couples release any judgments that they may have and are open to hearing and entertaining one another’s sexual fantasies and desires. Slut-shaming , for instance, which includes degrading, insulting, attacking or embarrassing a woman because you think she is too promiscuous has no place in a sex-positive relationship.

Shaming people for their choices and sexuality, as well as how they express it is unacceptable. As such, it does not matter whether someone is straight, bisexual or transgender, what they choose should be respected.

Consent is valued

Consent is everything when it comes to sex positivity as well as to normal healthy relationships. Even though you may be a couple, every individual’s body is their own and therefore, permission must be granted before any sexual activities commence. Individuals, even those in stable relationships, have the right to decide when they want sex or abstain, regardless of how long it might take.

Final Words

Being sex-positive means having a healthy and affirmative perspective on human sexuality. Sex positivity is primarily about 2 things; affirming that sex is a healthy aspect of human life, which means that it should not be shamed or stigmatized. Secondly, sex positivity accepts the choices made by others regarding sex, even though those choices may be different from the ones that we would make for ourselves.

It is a lot easier to remain sex-positive when you are surrounded by sex-positive people in your daily life. As such, if your relationship is sex-negative, it would be almost entirely impossible to sex out and explore your sexual desires properly due to the oppressive environment. The good news is that sex-positivity will always be a worthwhile pursuit and lucky for you, it has become more accessible and acceptable than ever in today’s contemporary society.