So It Was Just Another Dirty Con Trick...
News2 mins ago
" This fish looks and smells so old, it is practically prehistoric, what is it?"
Fishmonger: "Coelacanth Sir"...
Fred and Steven are old pals who met whilst visiting the worlds greatest doctors. Fred had never been able to walk without the aid of his crutches and poor Steven had a terrible lisp. One day the see...
The worst thing about living next door to MC Hammer is the constant DIY noise.
I shout "Stop", but if anything, that seems to make it worse....
Historians at Hampton court have discovered what is believed to be the world's largest bedsheet.
More on this story as it unfolds...
was refused service and asked to leave the premises of a café, after it was alleged that he was getting over familiar with staff. He later told police, that all he said was: "give me a Quiché...
Women only call me ugly until they find out how much money I make.
Then they call me ugly and poor....
What's the difference between a well dressed man on a bike, and a scruffy guy on a unicycle?
Attire....
Geordie wins ten grand on the lottery, so he goes halfies with his lass. "What you spendin' your five grand on, pet?" he asks one night. "Eeee", she replies, "Aa thought Aa'd have one o'them boob...
There were two nuns... One of them was known as Sister Mathematical (SM), The other one was known as Sister Logical (SL). It is getting dark and they are still far away from the convent. SM: Have you...
Twerking is what a Yorkshire man does to earn T'wages.
I took the shell off my racing snail, thinking it would make him faster.
If anything, he's more sluggish....
A young man named Boris bought a donkey from an old farmer for £100.00, and the farmer agreed to deliver the donkey the following day. When the farmer drove up the next day, he said, "Sorry son, but I...
For the oldies amongst us: Some of your old favourites have re-released their great hits with new lyrics to accommodate their aging audience. Some examples: Herman's Hermits "Mrs. Brown You've Got a...
I'm afraid for my calendar, Its days are numbered
Two friends, a blonde and a redhead, are walking down the street and pass a flower shop where the redhead sees her boyfriend buying flowers. The redhead sighs and says: "Oh damn, my boyfriend is...
My girlfriend's dog died so to cheer her up I went out and bought her an identical one.
She was livid.
"What am I going to do with two dead dogs?" she said....
This one's weird! ALZHEIMERS' EYE TEST Count every "F" in the following text: FINISHED FILES ARE THE RESULT OF YEARS OF SCIENTIFIC STUDY COMBINED WITH THE EXPERIENCE OF YEARS... (SEE BELOW) HOW MANY ?...
And the Lord said unto John "come forth and ye shall receive eternal life"
But John came fifth, and won a toaster....
One of the British national daily newspapers is asking readers "what it means to be British?" Some of the emails are hilarious but this is one from a chap in Switzerland... Being British is about...
I'm going to the National Traffic Wardens’ Association dinner tonight. It's an all ticket event....
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