So It Was Just Another Dirty Con Trick...
News1 min ago
One from Davy Jones presumably.
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An AA van was parked outside my house this morning. The driver had his head resting on his arms which were crossed over the steering wheel. He was visibly sobbing. I said to the wife "I think he's...
Sean Connery enters a busy barber shop, sits down, among the other customers to wait his turn and says to the barber "I can see you are busy, but I moustache you a question, no, okay I'll shave it for...
When the decorator had finished I paid him and gave him an extra £10 and told him to take the missus to the movies. A few hours later he came back all dressed up. "Have you forgotten something?" I...
It was many years ago since the embarrassing day when a young woman, with a baby in her arms, entered his butcher shop and confronted him with the news that the baby was his and asked what was he...
What should you do if you become addicted to seaweed.
_____________________________________________________
You seakelp....
Sir, you might find these shoes rather tight for the first two weeks.
"Not a problem, I'll start wearing them on the third week"...
Avoid being pestered by wasps at picnics by smearing jam on your children...............
The new series looks a bit carp ...
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Little Joe was doing very badly in math. His parents had tried everything... Tutors, Mentors, flash cards, special learning centres. In short, everything they could think of to help his math. Finally,...
The Irish medical dictionary Artery......................... The study of paintings Bacteria....................... Back door to cafeteria Barium......................... What doctors do when patients...
A man came home from work, sat down in his favourite chair, turned on the TV, and said to his wife, "Quick, bring me a beer before it starts." She looked a little puzzled, but brought him a beer. When...
Two friends who had a double wedding 8 years ago were talking in the pub. One said ”Why is it that we both got married on the same day 8 years ago and I have 8 kids and you have none?” His friend...
We had a power cut at my place this morning and my PC, laptop, TV, DVD, iPad & my new surround sound music system were all shut down. Then I discovered that my iPhone battery was dead and to top it...
Two old farm hands meet up in the village pub..... 'Hello George - not seen you in here for a while' 'No I been stuck up on the farm helping with all the lambing, anything exciting happening round...
After a trial had been going on for three days, Harrison, the man accused of committing the crimes, stood up and approached the judge's bench. "Your Honor, I would like to change my plea from...
Her dog came in heat and she was concerned about keeping it and the male separated. But she had a large house and she believed that she could keep the two dogs apart. However, as she was drifting off...
Don't ask your wife when dinner will be ready when she is mowing the lawn.
Q; What do you get if you eat peanut butter and baked beans?
A; A fart that sticks to the roof of your ariss....
When a cougar gets so old she needs a hearing aid
she becomes a Def Leppard..........
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