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mibn2cweus | 00:15 Tue 01st Apr 2008 | Religion & Spirituality
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Since Naomi will not give me the ****ing key I have decided to follow Jesus and be a Christian just like Theland. I am ashamed of my past history here so I'm going to devote the time I used to spend on ab to reading the Bible. No question really because I no longer care about what people think. I'll get all my answers from God from now on thank you.
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Sneaky Naomi - you timed it to try and catch the 2000 crown. I beat you to it.! My second success in life. (?)
Hang on! My reality is turning to mush! I see a tunnel and a light, and a flashing sign that says, "Your money is safe with Bradford & Bingley."
Oh no! Is this an out of the body experience? I'm not even wearing my clean underwear! What would my Mum say? What if I got hit by an ethereal bus?
I'm turning in on myself, getting smaller and smaller like Alice, and all of this for pressing the button marked "2000 DO NOT TOUCH!"
Help me! Save me! I'm sinking to a low level called chatterbankkkkkkkk ....... heeeeeeeelp
!
The virus won!
I was up early enough this morning, but feel awful, so not going into work today. Back to bed with a Lem-Sip I think.
Naomi, if only we could find that country and western song from the old film, you could send it to the 'orrible chairman, as a sort of very subtle message of course!
Glad to hear that the situation is under control though.
In my former job, a little Hitler was forever complaining that I clocked on just a minute or two before the start of my shift. He demanded I clock on earlier, five or ten minutes in fact, and I always refused. It riled him. Since leaving there, I've learned that he has been sending e mails to everybody demanding conformity to his rule. Naturally, the weaker ones comply, and break the unity needed to stand up to this buffoon, who, as an engineer, was rubbish, and he knows it, but he gets his kicks playing the manager. A very large ego.

I've always stood up for myself, and continue to do so as the need arises, but it saddens me so much to see people being bullied and just taking it on the chin.
Mibs, I too was really worried about the birds after the 2000 mark. While we huddled down in the Sanctuary, our feathered friends would be at the mercy of the Ed pulling the plug, and life as we know it could have ceased.
Praise the Lord! We have emerged unscathed, and your OMG thread is like a little lifeboat awaiting us on page two if the need arises.
Halfway down page two Naomi.
This thread of Mibs must be a record holder surely?
A golden gong for Mibs would be most appropriate, to be presented by a celebrity.

So, who will be the celebrity, and will Mibs grace us with a beautiful Hollywood style acceptance speech?

I really must go now. Got to telephone my work and, to the background sound of mournful violins, try to evoke buckets of sympathy from my boss, for my terrible plight in doing battle with this virus.
Farewell! cough cough sneeze cough ......
Well it's lunch time now and I've got a lot of filing requests in... so that's exciting!

Nothing, nada, a big fat 0... Although in fairness I guess it's not like I made a bee line for his office either. Or emailed him... But it would be abnormal if I did. It's not like we talk or see each other everyday generally. Think we'll be putting this down to a one night thing and moving on.
Theland, I think you're right. This thread must hold the all time record. Oh, a party!! We haven't had a party for AGES!!! I can hear the champagne corks popping as we speak! And Theland, if you're bringing the pork scratchings and brown ale, could you possibly run to a little bowl of olives and a packet of cheese and onion crisps too? Do like to bring a little finesse to the proceedings occasionally.

Don't be too hasty, China. He may well be wondering what to do next. Time will tell - but don't for heaven's sake remove yourself from the 'presence' altogether. He could be a slow worker - or he could be unsure of you. Maybe he needs to bump into you now and again - like daily - just to give him a little encouragement! And don't forget the office party at Christmas isn't that far off! Bit early to buy the mistletoe - but keep it in mind!
Well there's a leaving do for one of our Consultants tomorrow who he's worked with a bit so I don't know if he'll come to that. I did tell him about it but I don't know if he'll remember. Plus if he's avoiding me he definitely won't! Time will tell as you say. I'm not avoiding him or planing on being particularly off hand or rude but I'm also not going chasing him round the building. I am a professional after all... ahem! ;0)
China, maybe you could arrange to visit somebody close by to where he works, just to pop into his vicinity so to speak. ("Oh Hi, what are you doing here .......?")
And what does he do for lunch? Does he use the canteen or pop out to the pub for a quickie, or sulk in his office with his home made cheese sandwiches and flask of tea? These things are important to devise the right strategy!
(Ooooo it's just like "Gone With The Wind," only better!)
Naomi, I couldn't agree more, a celebratory gathering is called for to applaud Mibs' great achievement in passing the 2000 mark in his thread.
Maybe Brenda the Prophet could be the celebrity to make the award, as she's easy to feed, just brown rice and lentils, but the windows have to be kept open!
The rest of us can imbibe more traditional fare as you suggested, like brown ale, and cheap wine with real screw tops, and the buffet and nibbles could be mouth watering northern tripe, cow heels, pigs trotters, and a selection of crisps, the selection being, "take them or leave them!"
We could book the car park for the inevitable fighting that always occurs when a scouser gets ale down him, and China can bring her eye candy along to test his drinking capacity and arm wrestling skills.
And Mibs' speech? Well we need a few drafts to stir up ideas. I can't decide whether it should begin with, "My fellow Americans ..... " or, "My husband and I ........"
You, Naomi, as the professional writer amongst us, should find this task most appealing.
I shall contribute my efforts shortly.
And China, don't forget to bring along from work, your portfolio of mens diseased dangly bits, a great talking point and ice breaker at any social gathering surely?
Luna, you will have to work on a composition for the musical interlude, as well as some background sounds whilst the social whirl gathers pace. Something classical perhaps on your cutlery? How about the "Friggin' 'ell Concerto," from Wormwood Scrubs? And then a jam session where we all join in?
Theland, are you suggesting we hang China's art work up in place of bunting, and if so, should I cross balloons off my shopping list? And should I get baking custard pies for use at the revelries after chucking out time? And what if we don't like tripe and cow heels? Never tasted either, and I'll bet no one else here has (have you?) so maybe I could bring some jellied eels, and a few cockles and whelks, and some pie & mash with green liquor. Boy, now we're really motoring! Hang on, what about Luna? He's a vegetarian. OK, cheese sandwiches for Luna - but for that added little 'je ne sais quoi', I'll chuck in a dollop of Branston. Oh, I do like a dignified table laden with up-market fare. Harrods, eat your heart out.

Is mibs American, then? Well, if he is, he has some great acts to follow - Abe Lincoln's Gettysburg Address for starters.
He shares an office with three other people that I do have occasion to visit at times but not today and I'm not walking in there on some pre-text.

I have no idea what he does for lunch but suspect he's like me and is a desk eater... well not literally of course... as I've seen him eating his lunch there. And I'm not changing my own lunch time routine if I do go out anyway since he's on a crazy diet as it is!

Not devising any strategy, he knows where to find me.
Erm... Would you guys mind awfully if I had the cheese sarnies too? The other stuff sounds erm.. too rich... (yes, that's the word) for me.

Looks a little green around the gills
China! I'm shocked! And you a good sarf London girl too! Go on - have a jellied eel!! Loads of vinegar and pepper - you won't feel a thing.

Incidentally, my husband, on yet another health kick (yawn) goes walking every lunchtime, and took a stroll to Borough Market. He said it's brilliant! All sorts of exotic foods and spices - which we, living in the depths of wonderful, beautiful rurality (is that a word? Nah!) aren't able to get. (He always buys anything like that that we need in London - but never before at Borough Market). Do you go there, China?

Bedtime. Hope your back is better tomorrow, Luna - hope your cold is better tomorrow, Theland - hope your tattoo has healed well, China - and mysterious mibs? I wish you well.

Night. Mwah! x
My delightful friends, this message is brought to you painfully slow, one key at a time, due to the effects of a bottle of "you know what," and four cans of John Smiths smooth bitter. Funny that. I alway thought "Smooth" had an "e" on the end but the tin tells me otherwise.

As a kid, my uncles would come home from the pub with all kinds of "suppers". Cow heels and pigs trotters, tripe and pig tails, with chips naturally, were common fare.

I wouldn't feed my own kids on that stuff, but we grew up healthy, until I started smoking that is!
Mibs has launched the lifeboat on page two. Get aboard for a place of safety!
My dysfunctional family has bomb shelled me again. The financial burden is enough to crush any man, but the emotional burden is worse. Will I ever get off these anti-depressants? I'm talking to pixels, so let me rant!
My daughter tells me THIIS, and "Kerpow!" I will have to be there to pick up the pieces, and then my third eldest tells me THAT, and yours truly is gob smacked"
No! Neither has broken the law, far from it, but a social taboo is crossed in both cases, and I am from an older generation, and feel I can't cope.
Coming on here and trying to be amusing is an outlet for me.
Theland, what social taboos have been crossed? I'm finding it difficult to imagine what they can be in these days when pretty much anything seems to go. Whatever it is, it isn't the end of the world, and you will cope. Is it possible that you are over-reacting? You do have a habit of doing that, you know, and in doing so you are your own worst enemy, so just keep calm and try to look at whatever it is with rational eyes.

I've said it before, but I'm going to say it again. The financial burden you buckle under is of your own making because you don't insist that your children take responsibility for themselves. If they know there's always a cushion for them to fall on, they will always be reckless with their own finances - and come to good old dad when they've spent all their money. You think you're being kind, but in reality you aren't doing them any favours at all, you know. What will happen to them when you are no longer around and there is no cushion for them to fall on? You're allowing them to be weak when you should be teaching them that they have to be self-sufficient and take care of themselves. That doesn't mean you don't care, Theland, and it may seem severe to you, but it isn't. You can advise them, if they ask for your advice, but where continual financial support is concerned, sometimes you have to be cruel to be kind - otherwise they'll never learn - and if they don't learn, they'll never be able to cope in the real world.

Sorry if this sounds harsh - it's kindly meant, as always.

I don't think there's any reason to abandon ship just yet. There don't appear to be any storm clouds on the horizon, and we still seem to be sailing on an even keel. Of course, we could wake up one morning and find ourselves guests of Davy Jones, but until then, we're ok aren't we?

And don't forget Theland, you also asked me to ask Ellie May to set up a holiday home for us, which she did, so we still

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