Very nicely put, mibs, if I may say so. Thank you.
China, the problem with Theland & Co is that his kids, although adult, aren't independent of him, and don't appear to want to be. They come to him with their troubles continually and he's the one who sorts them out. That seems to be how the family unit works. It's all very well to say you're on the side of the kids - I would be too if they were telling Theland to butt out - but they're not - and if they want his support, then they can't expect him not to have an opinion - albeit one they may not like. If his kids were independent, then I would agree with you wholeheartedly, but since they're not, and they have involved him, he can't help worrying - he's a caring father. I doubt he ever imagined for one moment that situations such as those he's confronted with now, and which he finds totally abhorrant, would ever arise within his own family. Additionally, in these circumstances, we have to bear in mind his religious convictions. What is happening now is in direct contradiction to his beliefs. Even though I, personally, disagree with those beliefs, and if his problems were mine, I'd adopt a very different and a far more positive attitude, Theland isn't me, and I can, therefore, understand why this has come as such a devastating blow to him.