Law6 mins ago
My son's swallowed his mobile phone doing some daft prank and it is stuck in his throat ... I'm gonna ring his neck..
My mate has quit his job at BMW.
He gave no indication he was leaving.
He gave no indication he was leaving.
I was raised by a pack of hyenas. Life was tough, food was scarce. But boy, did we laugh !
"I've just been given a pet termite, I've called him Clint" "Why" "Because he eats wood" 😁
I lent a Roadworker £50 once, He has never '
Re Surfaced'
Re Surfaced'
I've decided I identify as a supermarket I've felt like this since I was lidl
You have to feel sorry for Jonathan Ross, he's just spent two weeks in Powys, thinking that he'd booked for a fortnight in the French Capital City. ___ I'll tell you how good my Doctor is: He... ...
.. for those that are ageing. https:/
Went to my local health centre with suspected Lyme disease. The receptionist said, "The doctor will be with you in two ticks".
Napoleon and his wife Josephine are buried next to each other -
They're only a bone apart..
They're only a bone apart..
I think of that🤔 https:/
R.I.P. My neighbour Dave who told his wife he was just popping out for some sewing thread but spent the full day down the pub.
Gone but not for cotton!.
Gone but not for cotton!.
My family said they want to move to Wiltshire. I didnt want an argument so I decided to leave them to their own Devizes.....
SEVERE WEATHER WARNING!! The AA have warned that anyone travelling in icy conditions should take a shovel, blankets/sleeping bag, extra clothing (including scarf, hat and gloves), 24 hour supply... ...
I saw this homeless guy living in a tyre. I done him a favour and punctured it... He's now living in a flat.
A husband abd wife are celebrating their 50th wedding anniversary. That night the wife approached her husband wearing the exact same sexy negligee she had worn on her wedding night, and said to... ...
I Was in a movie today called 'Cling film'
Got a bit irritated when the director said 'You can go home now it's a wrap' ___ BREAKING NEWS:- MAN KILLED BY STEAMROLLER
Police are not sure what happened... ...
Got a bit irritated when the director said 'You can go home now it's a wrap' ___ BREAKING NEWS:- MAN KILLED BY STEAMROLLER
Police are not sure what happened... ...
When I call the wife "hun" it's not short for honey it's short for Attila...
Dear Son, Just a few lines to let you know I'm still alive. I'm writing this letter slowly because I know you can't read fast. We are all doing very well. You won't recognise the house when you get... ...
https:/
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