Relationship With Sister

[papas32]

Hi lovelies! I came on here to ask a question and ended up answering other people's before I asked, how rude, lol! 😅

So, my question is: if you had a brother or sister who had let you down badly and constantly, how would you react if they contacted you to meet up for dinner somewhere? They don’t live nearby and are in my area staying with ‘friends’. I guess I’m not classed as a friend. 😒

I’m not sure whether to rise above all the letdowns , one being a last-minute cancellation of coming to my 21st birthday a few years ago with no excuse, just a “sorry I can’t make it,” and also hitting on my boyfriend more than once (and more than one boyfriend!). Other friends say if I don’t want to see her, just don’t go. So what, that she’s my sister? If she’d done that as a friend, she would no longer be a friend. PS: I’ve not seen nor heard from her for at least 3 years. Thanks for your advice! 💖

What would you do in my shoes?

[bednobs]

well you never know when you might need a bone marrow donor ...

[bednobs]

i dunno why youre sad face you're not classed as a friend. you say later on shes not your friend

[elliemay1]

If you haven't heard from her for 3 years she may have something important to tell you. I would talk to her by phone first and then decide

[Maydup]

Go, but be late!

[papas32]

Hi Bednobs, a bit of confusion here! I meant she obviously doesn’t class me as a friend, or so I think. She’s not my friend as in a mate I’ve chosen to spend time with – she’s a blood relative, and you know what they say about relatives. 😅

Any meaningful input would be appreciated, other than the bone marrow joke, which isn’t in good taste as we had a younger sister who passed away from leukemia when she was four. 💔

Thanks for understanding and for any advice you can offer! 💖

[scorpiojo]

Do you actually want to maintain a relationship with her?

[Tilly2]

Go and see how it works out. 

[papas32]

Hi Ellemay! 🌸 I don’t have her phone number; she only communicates through Messenger, and like I said, just one message in three years. Not sure if any more info would help, but both our parents have passed. The last time I saw her was at Mum’s funeral. She swept in after a three-hour drive, stayed for the service, had a brief chat in the car park, and then declined to come back for a cup of tea. It was between lockdowns, but we had everything set up in the garden. 💔

[elliemay1]

Well, why not communicate with her by Messenger first? You'll get a sense then of whether you want to meet her 

[papas32]

 I guess I really don’t want to see her or have anything more to do with her, but I wanted opinions on whether this is reasonable or if I should make the effort. Honestly, I have no amends to make – it’s all on her shoulders with how she’s acted towards me and the rest of what’s left of our family. If anything happened to her, I don’t think I would regret not making amends. I know that sounds weird, but that’s how I feel at the moment. 💔

What do you think? Is it okay to feel this way? 💖

[-SharonA-]

I would go! Life is too short.

[Auntypoll]

Go with your gut feelings. I once made amends with a member of my family, thinking like Sharon, life it too short, and they totally ruined my life for a couple of years, and destroyed a close family relationship. I rue the day I said let bygones be bygones because they rarely are. Did you get on as children?

[DDIL]

It doesn't sound like you want to and as long as you are happy with that decision that is all that matters.

i do not speak to my sister, every single time i have made an effort she has made a mug of me!

Now I don't care or bother.

[bednobs]

The bone marrow thing was not a joke.

[Auntypoll]

Christ bednobs sometimes you are a total knob 😂