Yorkshire Sex
Bloke takes his girlfriend up to his flat for the very first time. 'Ere', he says, 'you get dressed up in these oil-skins and sou'wester.'
Being quite keen on the dressing-up scene, she rapidly obliges.
'Nah then, lass, you 'op up on top o' that wardrobe,' he urges.
She thinks, 'Hello, this looks promising', and swiftly gets up on the wardrobe.
'Nah then, chuck, kick yer heels against 't-cupboard doors'.
She obliges.
"That's the thunder,' he shouts.
"Nah then, keep kicking' he says, while handing her up a bowl of water.
'Nah then, whilst tha' keeps kicking, start flickin' t'watter on me.'
She is much intrigued, but does as he requests.
'EEEh, champion,' he exclaims, 'that's rain, that is.'
'Nah then, whilst tha's flickin' watter, and kicking t'cupboard, reach over with thee left hand and flick that light switch on and off.'
She is pretty adept at multi-tasking and is soon doing all three simultaneously, kicking her heels against the wardrobe doors, flicking the water and switching the lights on and off.'
'Gradely,' he shouts in glee, 'that's lightning that is!'
'Yes, she says (in some frustration), but aren't you supposed to make love to me?'
'In this bl**dy weather?' he replies, “'No chance o' that.”