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Hymie

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Hymie
Watching the images of the conflict in Libya, I was wondering from precisely where are the rebels obtaining their arms. These arms include sophisticated rocket launch systems (admittedly mounted on a...
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Hymie
A young girl was pulling a cow along a country lane, using a rope. A passer-by, seeing that she was struggling to control the beast, asked where she was going with the animal. The young girl replied...
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Hymie
Not if he has a wife.
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Hymie
Last night, standing naked in the bedroom in front of a full-length mirror – admiring my manhood; I said to my other half ‘Two inches more and I’d be a King.’ She retorted...
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Hymie
Daughter: ‘Mum, did you ever have sex when you were my age?’ Mother: ‘Unfortunately I did – and let that be a lesson to you.’ Daughter: ‘Why, what happened?’...
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Hymie
♂ - ‘My friend fancies you.’ ♀ - ‘Well, just keep your friend in his underpants, out of trouble.’...
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Hymie
A young woman boarded a crowded train and asked a man sitting down whether she could have his seat because she was pregnant. Being a gentleman, the man obliged immediately and gave her his seat. After...
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Hymie
How do you know when a man’s had an orgasm? He’s snoring....
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Hymie
http://www.dailymail....st-shoppers-270m.html Besides insurance companies crying in their beer at inflation busting premium increases, year on year – this is the other perennial news story that...
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Hymie
Two pirates, who had not seen each other for some time, met up in The Black Spot pub. Since they had last met – one pirate had lost his right hand and was wearing a patch over his left eye. The...
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Hymie
Today, returning from lunch with a colleague visiting from Japan – a small group of female staff were standing around the entrance to the office, taking a cigarette break. Observing the group of...
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Hymie
In God We Trust – All others pay cash.
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Hymie
‘Alcohol is a dreadful thing,’ said Bob. ‘It’s bad for the health – do you know it killed my first wife?’ ‘No, how dreadful it must have been,’ said...
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Hymie
‘Before I pass sentence on you – have you anything to say?’ ‘F*ck all’ came the reply. The judge turned to one of the court officials and said ‘I didn’t hear...
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Hymie
On hearing that Mick Jagger had described the wrinkles on his face as ‘laughter lines’ – George Melly retorted ‘Nothing is that funny’
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Hymie
Would churchgoers please take note that the large bowl in the church vestibule marked ‘For the Sick’ – is for monetary donations only.
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Hymie
Down the pub last night – my mate announced that out of respect for his wife, he had not made love to her before their wedding night – what about you, he asked? I replied that I was not...
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Hymie
This is an actual radio conversation between a United States Navy aircraft carrier (U.S.S. Abraham Lincoln) and Canadian authorities off the coast off Newfoundland in October 1995. (The radio...
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Hymie
There was a man who worked for the Post Office whose job it was to process all the mail that had illegible addresses. One day, a letter came addressed in a shaky handwriting addressed to God but with...
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Hymie
Surely the first question that will be put to her will be:- Policeman: ‘Can you give me the names of serving Police officers to whom News International paid money illegally for the supply of...

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