"Father Patrick!" I shouted to the elderly priest, "Father Patrick! It's good to see you again." "Hello Brian," he responded by taking my outstretched hand. "It's been a long time. I'm surprised you...
Went on a date with a girl I'd recently met last night The drinks were going down fairly quick and the conversation soon turned to sex. "When was the last time you had sex?" she asked "I don't want to...
"Hey, big boy" Dave's wife whispered hornily in his ear "I want you to take me somewhere you've never taken me before" Dave soon found out that 'to a WeightWatchers meeting' isn't...
I was in a nightclub when some fat bird came up to me and tripped over. "Oh, while you're down there," I said as she made her way up. "You cheeky git," she laughed with a wink....
I was in the pub late last night, when I said to my mate "I can see it being very frosty in the morning." "How do you know that?" he asked. "Simple really" I said....
Roberto Mancini has said that to beat Chelsea today, Manchester City are going to have to play ugly.
He is expected to start up front next to Aguero....
Dave gets home early from work and hears strange noises coming from his bedroom. He rushes upstairs to find his wife naked on the bed,sweating and panting. "What's up?" he says. "I'm...
Dave's wife lost a tooth while eating a packet of dry roasted peanuts.
To be fair he did actually warn her not to keep rustling the bag while the football was on...
Watched a Man of the Match performance by Shane Long on MOTD this morning Great striker, scores goals, sets up goals, works hard for the team With respect to West Brom he could do a good job at a...
I can't believe that Helen Flanagan failed in her latest trial.
I thought that going down and taking a star in her mouth would have been second nature to her...
My wife was wearing one of those skirts where I could just see the bottom of her bum cheeks.
I'd probably have found it sexy if the skirt wasn't actually knee length....
I was out in the garden when I looked across the road and noticed my sexy neighbour washing her car. She glanced across at me, put the water hose in her mouth and gave me a cheeky wink I walked over...
