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McMouse

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McMouse

Every Little Counts

A woman has been taken into hospital after eating horse meat burgers from Tesco. Her condition is said to be stable So they have found a horse burger in Tesco, what's next, my Lidl pony? Not entirely...
14:10 Wed 23rd Jan 20139 answers, last by Capeman 08:50 Thu 24th Jan 2013
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McMouse

The Italian Virginity Test

Mario is planning to marry and asks his family doctor how he could tell if his Bride-to-be is still a Virgin. His doctor says ... "Mario, all the Italian men I know use three things for what we call a...
16:29 Tue 22nd Jan 20134 answers, last by paddyk 12:41 Wed 23rd Jan 2013
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McMouse

Foul Practice

Just got back having been away for a week to find that some charmless dog-walker has been depositing dog-doo in my dust bin. Will keep an eye on the bin each evening........retribution may follow!
15:38 Mon 21st Jan 20139 answers, last by joeluke 19:40 Mon 21st Jan 2013
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McMouse

Eating In The 50's (Part 2)

* Cornflakes had arrived from America but it was obvious that they would never catch on. * The phrase "boil in the bag" would have been beyond our realms of comprehension. * The idea of "oven chips"...
12:38 Sun 13th Jan 20134 answers, last by Thisoldbird 23:57 Sun 27th Nov 2022
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McMouse

Eating In The Uk In The Fifties

* Pasta had not been invented. * Curry was an unknown entity. * Olive oil was kept in the medicine cabinet * Spices came from the Middle East where we believed that they were used for embalming *...
12:33 Sun 13th Jan 201314 answers, last by marval 19:40 Mon 11th Feb 2013
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McMouse

Golf

Bill stood over his tee shot on the 450 yard 18th hole for what seemed an eternity. He waggled, looked up, looked down, waggled again, but didn't start his back swing.. Finally his exasperated partner...
09:41 Fri 11th Jan 20132 answers, last by Starbuckone 19:22 Fri 11th Jan 2013
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McMouse

Political Correctness

A policeman spots a black guy dancing on the roof of a car. He radios for backup, saying... "I've got a darkie dancing on a Volkswagen." "You can't say that over the radio." replies the operator "You...
10:08 Thu 10th Jan 20135 answers, last by tonyav 18:12 Thu 10th Jan 2013
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McMouse

Guy On Welfare…

A young man walked into the local welfare office to pick up his check. He marched up to the counter and said, "Hi. You know, I just HATE drawing welfare. I'd really rather have a job. I don't like...
09:46 Wed 09th Jan 20134 answers, last by Gizmonster 10:22 Wed 09th Jan 2013
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McMouse

Zurich

I'm stopping over for one night in Zurich next week. Anyone know if taxi drivers will accept Euros or will I need some Swiss Francs?
09:33 Wed 09th Jan 20132 answers, last by McMouse 09:43 Wed 09th Jan 2013
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McMouse

Roll Call

Registry on the first day back at school in Birmingham, England. The teacher began calling out the names of the pupils: "Mustafa Al Eih Zeri?" "Here" "Achmed El Kabul?" "Here" "Fatima Al Hayek? "...
09:28 Wed 09th Jan 20136 answers, last by Chipchopper 10:24 Wed 09th Jan 2013
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McMouse

Home Cooking

Where many a man thinks his wife is.
14:50 Mon 07th Jan 20134 answers, last by commoner 16:43 Mon 07th Jan 2013
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McMouse

World War Iii In The Planning Stages

Prime Minister Cameron and President Obama are sitting in a bar. A guy walks in and asks the barman, 'Isn't that Cameron and Obama sitting over there?' The bartender says, 'Yep, that's them.' So the...
13:48 Mon 31st Dec 20124 answers, last by askyourgran 23:39 Mon 31st Dec 2012
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McMouse

It All Makes Sense Now

Gay marriage and marijuana being legalised on the same day. Leviticus 20:13 ~ “If a man lays with another man he should be stoned.” We’ve just been interpreting it wrongly all these years....
12:31 Mon 31st Dec 201212 answers, last by masma 18:12 Mon 31st Dec 2012
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McMouse

End Of The Year!

A dwarf goes to a very good but very busy doctor and asks "I know you are busy but do you treat dwarves?" The doctor replies "Yes, but you will have to be a little patient"....
11:04 Mon 31st Dec 201210 answers, last by McMouse 13:44 Mon 31st Dec 2012
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McMouse

Don't Try This At Home.....

I spent a couple of hours defrosting the fridge last night. Or "foreplay" as she likes to call it....
12:48 Sun 30th Dec 20129 answers, last by Baldric 16:56 Sun 30th Dec 2012
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McMouse

Something For The Weekend

My sister-in-law sat on my glasses and broke them. It was my own fault. I should have taken them off.
12:08 Sun 30th Dec 20127 answers, last by Chipchopper 10:19 Mon 31st Dec 2012
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McMouse

In Big Trouble.

In hindsight I should have posted my Facebook status as: "I've blown the head gasket on my 1997 XR3i" rather than "I've just buggered a 14 year old escort". The police still haven't seen the funny...
13:30 Sat 29th Dec 20127 answers, last by Grandma_Yiddo 18:32 Sat 29th Dec 2012
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McMouse

Company Directors

Schwartz, Cohen and Ginsburg were all close friends since childhood. They decided they wanted to go into business together. Schwartz says, "OK! I'll invest $100,000." Cohen says, "I will go for...
12:50 Thu 20th Dec 20122 answers, last by chaptazbru 15:23 Thu 20th Dec 2012

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