Slice of toast for breakfast, didn't want coffee mid-morning. Didn't fancy anything for lunch. Was just leaving the house when I felt sick. Dashed indoors, up-chucked and now feel a great deal better....
A guy asked a girl in a library, “Do you mind if I sit beside you?” The girl answered with a loud voice, “I DON’T WANT TO SPEND THE NIGHT WITH YOU!!!” All the students in...
A couple were completely in debt and didn't know what to do. Things got worse and one day the chap suggested his wife should start working the street. After the first night she came home and told him...
80-year old Bessie bursts into the common room at the retirement home. She holds her clenched fist in the air and announces, "Anyone who can guess what's in my hand can have sex with me...
An older couple were lying in bed one night. The husband was falling asleep but the wife was in a romantic mood and wanted to talk. She said: "You used to hold my hand when we were...
Three strangers strike up a conversation in the airport passenger lounge in Abilene, Texas awaiting their flights. One is an American Indian passing through from Oklahoma City. Another is a Cowboy on...
I never have quite figured out why the sexual urges of men and women differ so much. I never have figured out the whole Mars & Venus thing. And I never have figured out why men think with their...
One day two old ladies met up for a spot of lunch, one of the ladies said to the other "Did you come on the bus" The other lady answered "Yeah but I made it look like an asthma...
A bloke walks into a bar with an alligator. He walks up to the bar and says "I would like a beer thanks." The Bar man says "Sorry mate you can't have that alligator in here." The...
An elderly gentleman went to the local drug store and asked the pharmacist for Viagra. The pharmacist said, "That's no problem. How many do you want?" The man answered, "Just a few,...
An elderly couple was driving cross-country, and the woman was driving. She gets pulled over by the highway patrol. The officer says, "Ma'am, did you know you were speeding?" The woman turns...