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McMouse

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McMouse

Who owns Israel?

A representative from Israel began: 'Before beginning my talk I want to tell you something about Moses: When he struck the rock and it brought forth water, he thought, 'What a good opportunity to have...
08:12 Thu 23rd Jun 201111 answers, last by reefer 12:12 Thu 23rd Jun 2011
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McMouse

Arthritis

A drunk man who smelled of beer sat down on a tube train next to a priest. The man's tie was stained, his face was plastered with red lipstick, and a half-empty bottle of gin was sticking out of his...
11:05 Tue 21st Jun 20116 answers, last by wildwood 09:28 Wed 22nd Jun 2011
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McMouse

Cheer Up Salla, we love you

Went for my routine check up today and everything seemed to be going fine until he stuck his index finger up my @rse! Do you think I should change dentists?...
09:51 Thu 16th Jun 20114 answers, last by JonnyBoy12 20:30 Wed 22nd Jun 2011
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McMouse

Something for Wednesday

Paddy says "Mick, I'm thinking of buying a Labrador." " Bu99er that" says Mick "have you seen how many of their owners go blind"
09:45 Wed 15th Jun 20112 answers, last by JonnyBoy12 13:33 Wed 15th Jun 2011
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McMouse

My Tuesday thought

The Grim Reaper came for me last night and I beat him off with a vacuum cleaner. Bu99er me, talk about Dyson with death.
08:37 Tue 14th Jun 20113 answers, last by carmalee 08:39 Tue 14th Jun 2011
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McMouse

Doing doctors today

A young lady walks into a doctors office. "Doctor I'm suffering from a terrible discharge" The Doctor lays her down lifts up her dress and has a good probe around and says "how does...
08:56 Mon 13th Jun 20112 answers, last by JonnyBoy12 14:09 Mon 11th Jul 2011
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McMouse

Visiting the doctor

A man goes into the doctor's office feeling really bad. After a thorough examination the doctor calls him into his office and says "I have some bad news. You have HAGS." "What is...
08:37 Mon 13th Jun 20116 answers, last by anneasquith 22:52 Mon 13th Jun 2011
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McMouse

One liner for Monday

An old lady is being examined by the Dr. He asks "have you ever been bedridden"? She replies "yes I have, and I've been table ended and backskuttled a few times too"
08:10 Mon 13th Jun 20118 answers, last by McMouse 08:18 Mon 13th Jun 2011
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McMouse

A Friday on-liner

I sat on the train this morning opposite a stunning Thai girl. I kept thinking to myself, please don't get an erection, please don't get an erection...but she did.
08:30 Fri 10th Jun 20115 answers, last by marval 17:45 Fri 10th Jun 2011
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McMouse

Bu99er, bu99er, bu99er

Should be having my op today, but they cancelled admission yesterday when they discovered the surgeon was on holiday. No slots available for at least two weeks and could be even longer.
11:49 Wed 08th Jun 20115 answers, last by Sqad 12:38 Wed 08th Jun 2011
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McMouse

Nearest and dearest

Wife says to husband: "You only ever want sex when you're drunk" Husband relies: "That's not true....... sometimes I want a kebab"...
09:58 Wed 01st Jun 20111 answer, last by wildwood 05:18 Thu 02nd Jun 2011
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McMouse

Careful with the cucumbers ladies..

what with e coli and all.
14:06 Tue 31st May 20118 answers, last by Rodge2 17:53 Tue 31st May 2011
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McMouse

Sky news report.

The Irish have joined in the attack on Libya. They sent in 3 ships.....2 full of sand and one full of cement.....it was a mortar attack....
13:51 Tue 31st May 20112 answers, last by McMouse 14:10 Tue 31st May 2011
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McMouse

Lost in translation

My sexy Chinese neighbour told me she was desperate for a roger.. It was only when I had my trousers round my ankles that I realised she wanted to rent out her spare room!!...
11:09 Tue 31st May 20112 answers, last by wildwood 03:08 Wed 01st Jun 2011
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McMouse

Disaster Relief

The Japanese government have thanked Britain for the rescue dogs they sent out . They said they were delicious!...
07:56 Tue 31st May 20113 answers, last by bluebirdino 15:50 Tue 31st May 2011
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McMouse

Good advice

Kate Middleton asked the Queen for advice on marriage and a long relationship. She replied: "Wear a seatbelt and don't Fosters me off!"
10:18 Mon 30th May 20114 answers, last by mike11111 20:50 Wed 01st Jun 2011
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McMouse

Aldeburgh, Suffolk

Mrs McM is taking me the Aldeburgh on the weekend before I go in for my op. Any recommendations on hotel and eating out.....no expense spared?
13:32 Thu 26th May 201129 answers, last by ruthann58 18:55 Thu 26th May 2011
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McMouse

Been here before.....

On the news this morning was a report about poor standards of care for elderly people in hospital and how some patients were dehydrated and under-nourished due to the food and water either being out...
12:45 Thu 26th May 201110 answers, last by DEN53 18:12 Thu 26th May 2011
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McMouse

Does 'virgin wool' come from sheep

the shepherd hasn't caught yet?
15:33 Wed 25th May 20112 answers, last by sallabananas 15:51 Wed 25th May 2011
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McMouse

In human terms is normal

for Norfolk the same as normal for Lancashire?
14:31 Wed 25th May 20112 answers, last by standian 15:58 Wed 25th May 2011

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