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oldmisery

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oldmisery

The Welsh Are A Nation Of Scholars And Circumspect Liars.

A friend used this quote which he attributed to Voltaire. Is this true and in what context was it used ?.
10:24 Sun 13th Jul 20148 answers, last by sandyRoe 23:47 Sun 13th Jul 2014
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oldmisery

Cooling Off Period

My neighbour, an elderly widow, had problems with her front door and porch locks. She was given the number of a locksmith who came and examined the locks on Monday and told her that the locks had to...
19:33 Tue 08th Jul 201421 answers, last by chrissa1 21:58 Wed 09th Jul 2014
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oldmisery

Water Bill

Just had my water bill of £327 drop on my mat. That's a lot. Oxfam can supply a whole African village for just £2 a month. Time to change supplier I think....
11:57 Mon 17th Mar 20142 answers, last by Old_Geezer 14:25 Mon 17th Mar 2014
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oldmisery

New Pepsi

Pfizer Corp. announced today that Viagra will soon be available in liquid form, and will be marketed by Pepsi Cola as a power beverage suitable for use as a mixer. It will now be possible for a man to...
14:16 Thu 13th Mar 20142 answers, last by Old_Geezer 14:27 Thu 13th Mar 2014
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oldmisery

Nag Nag Nag

An attorney arrived home late after a very tough day trying to get a stay of execution for his client. His last minute plea for clemency had failed and he was worn out and depressed. As soon as he...
11:33 Thu 27th Feb 20142 answers, last by marval 17:00 Thu 27th Feb 2014
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oldmisery

What Are You Selling

Two businessmen in the centre of Chester were sitting down for a break in their soon-to-be new shop. At that stage the shop wasn't ready, with only a few shelves erected. One said to the other " You...
15:05 Tue 11th Feb 20141 answer, last by Peaspeculiars 15:09 Tue 11th Feb 2014
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oldmisery

Tues Dm No. 14668

Stuck on two, 24a G???E? Good forest flowers here. 25d ??L? Pity Liberal blocked government. Any help please ?...
10:59 Tue 14th Jan 20142 answers, last by oldmisery 11:06 Tue 14th Jan 2014
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oldmisery

N.h.s.

People give the N.H.S. a hard time, but personally I find their staff to be professional, friendly and never far away with a compliment. In fact I received a letter from my consultant at the sexual...
09:54 Wed 18th Dec 20138 answers, last by smartowl 21:42 Wed 18th Dec 2013
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oldmisery

Stone The Crows.

Researchers for the Highways Agency found over 200 dead crows on the A55 Expressway recently, and there was concern that they may have died from Avian Flu. An Animal Pathologist examined the remains...
13:33 Tue 12th Nov 201310 answers, last by cupid04 18:52 Wed 13th Nov 2013
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oldmisery

Mathematics In The Workplace

This comes from two maths teachers with a combined total of 70 years experience and has an indisputable logic that goes like this. What makes 100%? What does it mean to give MORE than 100%? Ever...
10:56 Thu 21st Feb 20135 answers, last by DaisyNonna 22:24 Thu 21st Feb 2013
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oldmisery

Colonoscopy

Being nervous and embarrassed about my up and comming colonoscopy, on a recommendation I decided to have it done whilst visiting friends in San Francisco. Where, I am told, the beautiful nurses are...
12:44 Mon 21st Jan 20131 answer, last by pdq1 14:27 Mon 21st Jan 2013
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oldmisery

Really Rude

A woman goes to the Doctors and says"I'm getting too much discharge". Doctor says "Pop your knickers off and slip onto the bed". He puts on a pair of latex gloves and applies three fingers into her...
12:43 Sat 22nd Dec 20124 answers, last by marval 14:56 Sat 22nd Dec 2012
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oldmisery

School Play

A little boy comes home from school and says "Dad, I've got a part in the school play as a man who's been married for twenty five years." His Dad replies " Never mind Son, maybe next year you'll get a...
10:49 Sat 22nd Dec 20121 answer, last by albaqwerty 10:50 Sat 22nd Dec 2012
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oldmisery

My Wife

The police came to my door last night, holding a picture of my Wife. They said "Is this your Wife Sir?". Shocked, I answered "Yes". They said " We're afraid it looks like she's been in a car...
09:37 Sat 22nd Dec 20123 answers, last by douglas9401 11:08 Sat 22nd Dec 2012
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oldmisery

Use Of Aluminium In Underground Telephone Cables.

Is there any truth that aluminium was used as an alternative to copper to transmit domestic telephone messages ?...
16:54 Sat 08th Dec 20129 answers, last by modeller 14:19 Wed 12th Dec 2012
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oldmisery

Ditloids

Can anyone help me with the following Ditloids,:- 90210=BHZC 1085=H of S in M 1759= BY of RB 12=AN for M on PT 650=S in P 87=I was in the SDB 2211=CEBN in DH 3=GNW for RR 15=YM is a CWA 32=VC on the...
12:37 Thu 06th Dec 20127 answers, last by oldmisery 16:09 Thu 06th Dec 2012
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oldmisery

Brazil

This oldy came to mind reading of Camerons visit to Brazil. At the height of the Iraqi War, Donald Runsfeld briefed the President,George W Bush, with the news that three Brazilian soldiers had been...
15:15 Thu 27th Sep 20129 answers, last by beso 10:59 Fri 28th Sep 2012
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oldmisery

Doggy Joke

A dog lover, whose dog was a female and "in heat," agreed to look after her neighbours' male dog at her house while the were away on holiday. She had a large house and extensive grounds and...
10:46 Thu 27th Sep 20125 answers, last by Starbuckone 18:08 Thu 27th Sep 2012

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