Lost my watch at a party...
Saw a guy stepping on it while sexually harassing a girl. I walked up to the dude, punched him straight in the nose.
No one does that to a girl.
Not on my watch....
Ξ Did you hear about the thoughtful Scotsman who was heading out to the pub? He turned to his wee wife before leaving and said, 'Jackie - put your hat and coat on lassie.' She replied, 'Awe Iain...
Never let anyone tell you what you can and can't do.
Take Beethoven for example, they told him he could not be a musician because he was deaf... but he didn't listen....
I told my mum that I'd opened a theatre. She said, "Are you having me on?" I said, "Well I'll give you an audition, but I'm not promising you anything."...
