Do any of you know how to get water marks out of suede boots. I must have stood in puddle yesterday while shopping! The stains are across the toe areas. Tia. 12:...
A policeman stopped me as I walked out of Curry's today. He said, "Before I perform a search, do you have anything sharp in your pockets?" I said, "No mate, just Sony and Panasonic."...:)...
As mother watched her son struggling in with a setttee and an arm chair, she asked, "What are you doing!" Son replied, "I've just been given this by someone I don't even know!" Mother replied, "What...
I ate a dodgy curry earlier. I said to the wife, "My a55ole feels like it's on fire"
Wife replies, "ring sting"
I said, "What the hell do I want to ask him for"...
WIFE: "There's trouble with the car. It has water in the carburetor." HUSBAND: "Water in the carburetor? That's ridiculous." WIFE: "I tell you the car has water in the carburetor." HUSBAND: "You don't...
A terrorist attack has blown away two local houses - one made of straw and the other made of wood.
Police think that it's probably a lone wolf....:)..:)...
A mother complained to her consultant about her daughter’s strange eating habits. –“All day long she lies in bed and eats yeast and car wax. What will happen to her?” –“Eventually,” said...
A young man on acid walked into a dentist's office and said, " Can you help me? I think I'm a moth." The dentist said, "You don't need a dentist. You need a psychiatrist." "Yes, I know," the man said....
Has anyone got personal experience from taking Renitidine? I'm supposed to take two 150g twice a day. Doctor swapped from Omeprazole. I took one about 8.00am but felt really weird after. Felt really...
Paddy’s wife was ready to give birth so he rushes her to hospital.
When he gets there the nurse asks him, “How dilated is she?”
Paddy replies, “Oh Jaysus, we’re both over the moon.”.....
Paddy phones for an ambulance as Murphy's been hit by a car. Operator asks where he is. He says outside 28 Eucalyptus Rd. Operator asks, "How do u spell that?" The line goes quiet for 5 minutes....
Paddy said to Mick, "I've just found a pen" Mick said, "Throw it here" He proceeded to write on a bit of paper. "It's mine!" he shouted. Paddy said, "How do you know that?" Mick replies, "Because it's...