1. A girl is said to be grown up when she starts wearing a bra. A boy is grown up when he starts removing them. 2. We all love to spend money buying new clothes, but we never realize that the best...
Grandma and Grandpa were visiting their kids overnight. When Grandpa found a bottle of Viagra in his son's medicine cabinet, he asked about using one of the pills. The son said, "I don't think you...
An Arab Sheik was admitted to Hospital for heart surgery, but prior to the surgery, the doctors needed to build up a stock of his blood type for transfusion. As the gentleman had a rare type of blood...
A man moves into a nudist colony. He receives a letter from his Grandmother asking him to send her a current photo of himself in his new location. Too embarrassed to let her know that he lives in a...
A few minutes before the church services started, the congregation were sitting in their pews and talking. Suddenly, Satan appeared at the front of the church. Everyone started screaming and running...
Two priests decided to go to Hawaii on vacation. They were determined to make this a real vacation by not wearing anything that would identify them as clergy. As soon as the plane landed they headed...
Little Bruce and Jenny are only 10 years old, but they know they are in love. One day they decide that they want to get married, so Bruce goes to Jenny's father to ask him for her hand. Bruce bravely...
TRUTH No. 1. Lovers help each other undress before sex. However after sex, they always dress on their own. Simple Truth: In life, no one helps you once you're screwed. TRUTH No 2. When a lady is...
1 Wear your glasses to make sure your partner is actually in the bed. 2. Set timer for 3 minutes, in case you doze off in the middle. 3. Set the mood with lighting. (Turn them ALL OFF!) 4. Make sure...
An Arab had spent many days crossing the desert without finding a source of water. It got so bad that even his camel died of thirst. He crawled through the sands, certain that he was breathing his...
One year, I decided to buy my mother-in-law a cemetery plot as a Christmas gift... The next year, I didn't buy her a gift. When she asked me why, I replied, "Well, you still haven't used the gift I...
John O'Reilly hoisted his beer and said, "Here's to spending the rest of me Life, between the legs of me wife !" That won him the top prize at the pub for the best toast of the night ! He went home...
A blonde chick gets a job as a physical education teacher of 16 year olds. She notices a boy at the end of the field standing alone, while all the other kids are running around having fun, kicking a...
All the organs of the body were having a meeting, Trying to decide who was the one in charge. "I should be in charge," said the brain, "Because I run all the body's systems, so without me nothing...
Getting married Jack, age 92, and Gill, age 89, are all excited about their decision to get married. They go for a stroll to discuss the wedding, and on the way they pass a chemist shop and Jack...
The Pope was having a shower. Although he's very strict about celibacy, he occasionally felt he needed 'to exercise the Papal wrist', And this happened to be one of those occasions. Just as he reached...
The mother-in-law arrives home from shopping to find her son-in-law, Paddy, in a steaming rage and hurriedly packing his suitcase. "What happened Paddy?" she asks anxiously. "What happened!! I'll tell...
For all my grammatically correct friends. On his 74th birthday, a man got a gift certificate from his wife. The certificate paid for a visit to a medicine man living on a nearby reservation who was...
I saw my mate Charlie this morning, he's only got one arm bless him. I shouted - Where you off to Charlie? He said, "I'm off to change a light bulb." Well I just cracked up, couldn't stop laughing,...
