Nearly shagged a Ladyboy last night. Picked him up in a night club. He Looked like a woman. Smelled like a woman. Danced like a woman. Even kissed like a woman, but as we arrived back at his apartment...
The wife came out of the bathroom and said - I have just shaved my pubs and you know what that means don't you?
I said - Yeah, the bloody plug hole is blocked again!...
In the pub the other day I was telling that old joke about what you do if you see an epileptic having a fit in the bath. Answer; throw in your washing and soap powder. We were all having a good laugh...
10 Catholic Priests were killed in a road accident. At the Pearly Gates St Peter says - If any of you are paedophiles you can p*** off down to Hell. Nine of them start to walk away when St Peter calls...
Farmer John once lived on a quiet rural highway but as time went by, the traffic slowly built up and eventually got so heavy and so fast that his free range chickens were being run over, at a rate of...
Prince Charles is on an official tour of Scotland. Visiting an Edinburgh hospital, he enters a ward full of patients with no obvious sign of injury or illness and greets one. The patient replies:...
A wife comes home late at night, and quietly opens the door to her bedroom. From under the blanket she sees four legs instead of two. She reaches for a baseball bat and starts hitting the blanket as...
John, a Dublin University student, was on the side of the road hitch-hiking on a very dark night and in the midst of a big storm. The night was rolling on and no car went by. The storm was so strong...
Husband’s Message mobile phone: Honey, a car has hit me near the office. Paula brought me to the Hospital. They have been taking tests and X-rays. The blow to my head has been very strong,...
Little Johnny's teacher is giving a lesson on nutrition, and she decides to ask her students what they had for breakfast. To add a spelling component, she asks the students to also spell their...
His Lordship was in the study at Downton Abbey when the butler approached and coughed discreetly. "May I ask you a question my lord?" "Go ahead Carson” said his lordship. "I am doing the crossword...
A young man shopping in a supermarket noticed a little old lady following him around. If he stopped, she stopped. Furthermore she kept staring at him. She finally overtook him at the checkout, and she...
A woman asks her husband at breakfast time, “Would you like some bacon & eggs, toast, and maybe some grapefruit juice and coffee?” He declines. “Thanks for asking, but I’m not hungry right...
A young Arab asks his father, "What is that weird hat you are wearing?" The father said, "Why, it's a 'chechia' because in the desert it protects our heads from the sun." "And what is this type of...
1. A woman in labour is screaming profanity at her husband from her hospital bed. He says, "Hey, don't blame me! I wanted to stick it in your ass but NO, you said that might hurt!" 2. I spent £5,000...
Mary had a little pig, She kept it fat and plastered; And when the price of pork went up, She shot the little ***. ******************** Mary had a little lamb. Her father shot it dead. Now it goes...
"Bless me Father, for I have sinned. I have been with a loose girl." The priest asks, "Is that you, little Joey Pagano?" "Yes, Father, it is." "And who was the girl you were with?" "I can't tell you,...
A Priest was about to finish his tour of duty, and was leaving his Mission in the jungle where he had spent years teaching the natives, when he realized that the one thing he had never taught them,...
Two elderly women were out driving in a large car - both could barely see over the dashboard. As they were cruising along, they came to major crossroad. The stop light was red, but they just went on...