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Shaglene

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Shaglene

Senior Driving...........

As a senior citizen was driving down the motorway, his car phone rang. Answering, he heard his wife's voice urgently warning him, " Vernon , I just heard on the news that there's a car going the wrong...
15:25 Sat 17th Oct 20151 answer, last by TWR 15:27 Sat 17th Oct 2015
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Shaglene

Old Friends...............

Two elderly ladies had been friends for many decades. Over the years, they had shared all kinds of activities and adventures. Lately, their activities had been limited to meeting a few times a week to...
15:24 Sat 17th Oct 2015
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Shaglene

Down At The Retirement Home...............

80-year old Bessie bursts into the recreation room at the retirement home. She holds her clenched fist in the air and announces," Anyone who can guess what's in my hand can have sex with me tonight!!"...
15:22 Sat 17th Oct 20153 answers, last by marval 15:29 Sat 17th Oct 2015
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Shaglene

Romance............

An older couple were lying in bed one night. The husband was falling asleep but the wife was in a romantic mood and wanted to talk. She said: "You used to hold my hand when we were courting." Wearily...
15:05 Thu 15th Oct 20151 answer, last by maggiebee 16:20 Fri 16th Oct 2015
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Shaglene

Supersex..............

A little old lady who had lost her marbles was running up and down the halls in a nursing home. As she walked, she would flip up the hem of her nightgown and say "Supersex.." She walked up to an...
15:04 Thu 15th Oct 20151 answer, last by Togo 18:51 Fri 16th Oct 2015
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Shaglene

Hearing Loss.............

Three retirees, each with a hearing loss, were playing golf one fine March day. One remarked to the other, "Windy, isn't it?" "No," the second man replied, "it's Thursday..." And the third man chimed...
15:02 Thu 15th Oct 2015
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Shaglene

Elderly Lady.............

An elderly Lady called 999 on her mobile phone to report that her car has been broken into. She is hysterical as she explains her situation to the operator: "They've stolen the stereo, the steering...
15:01 Thu 15th Oct 20152 answers, last by maggiebee 16:21 Fri 16th Oct 2015
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Shaglene

Three Sisters............

Three sisters ages 92, 94 and 96 live in a house together.. One night the 96 year old draws a bath.. She puts her foot in and pauses... She yells to the other sisters, "Was I getting in or out of the...
14:59 Thu 15th Oct 20151 answer, last by maggiebee 17:27 Fri 16th Oct 2015
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Shaglene

Sleeping With Mick................

The boys were on a bike tour. No one wanted to share a room with Mick, because he snored so badly. They decided it wasn't fair to make one of them stay with him the whole time, so they voted to take...
18:19 Wed 14th Oct 20154 answers, last by paudiek 15:52 Sat 17th Oct 2015
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Shaglene

What We Eat...............

"The material we put into our stomachs should have killed most of us sitting here, years ago. Red meat is full of steroids and dye. Soft drinks corrode your stomach lining. Chinese food is loaded with...
18:17 Wed 14th Oct 2015
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Shaglene

Tommy Cooper Jokes..............

The Grim Reaper came for me last night, and I beat him off with a Vacuum Cleaner. Talk about Dyson with death. I went to the cemetery yesterday to lay some flowers on a grave. As I was standing there...
18:24 Tue 13th Oct 20158 answers, last by Gromit 20:14 Wed 14th Oct 2015
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Shaglene

The Banker.............

A Banker parks his brand new Porsche in front of the office to show it off to his colleagues. As he's getting out of the car, a lorry comes speeding along too close to the curb and takes off the door...
18:18 Tue 13th Oct 20151 answer, last by janbee 04:59 Wed 14th Oct 2015
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Shaglene

Cyanide.............

A nice, calm, and respectable lady went into the pharmacy, walked up to the pharmacist, looked straight into his eyes, and said, "I would like to buy some cyanide." The pharmacist asked, "Why in the...
13:27 Mon 12th Oct 20151 answer, last by maggiebee 15:18 Mon 12th Oct 2015
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Shaglene

Signs............

Sign over a Gynaecologist’s Office: "Dr. Jones, at your cervix." ************************** In a Podiatrist's office: "Time wounds all heels." ************************** On a Septic Tank Truck:...
13:24 Mon 12th Oct 20151 answer, last by janbee 13:26 Mon 12th Oct 2015
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Shaglene

Exchange Rate...............

I was at my bank today; there was a short line. There was just one lady in front of me, an Asian lady who was trying to exchange yen for dollars. It was obvious she was a little irritated . . . She...
13:19 Mon 12th Oct 20151 answer, last by Svejk 13:20 Mon 12th Oct 2015
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Shaglene

Poison...........

A man goes to see the Rabbi. "Rabbi, something terrible is happening and I have to talk to you about it." The Rabbi asked, "What's wrong?" The man replied, "My wife is going to poison me." The Rabbi,...
12:57 Sun 11th Oct 20152 answers, last by serenaclairegrea 07:52 Mon 12th Oct 2015
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Shaglene

John And Bob........

John was on his deathbed and gasped pitifully, "Give me one last request, dear," he said. "Of course, John," his wife said softly. "Six months after I die," John said, "I want you to marry Bob." "But...
12:56 Sun 11th Oct 20151 answer, last by janbee 04:52 Mon 12th Oct 2015
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Shaglene

Larry's Bar..........

A man goes to a shrink and says, "Doctor, my wife is unfaithful to me. Every evening, she goes to Larry's bar and picks up men. In fact, she sleeps with anybody who asks her! I'm going crazy. What do...
12:55 Sun 11th Oct 20151 answer, last by janbee 05:05 Mon 12th Oct 2015
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Shaglene

Mt. Sinai........

Smith climbs to the top of Mt. Sinai to get close enough to talk to God. Looking up, he asks the Lord. "God, what does a million years mean to you?" The Lord replies, "A minute." Smith asks, "And what...
12:54 Sun 11th Oct 20152 answers, last by janbee 05:11 Mon 12th Oct 2015

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