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Shaglene

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Voltage

A Woman Is Suing A Hospital!

A woman is suing a hospital, stating that after a recent operation, her husband had lost interest in sex. In a statement from the hospital the surgeon said: "All we did was restore his eyesight."...
15:02 Tue 03rd Jul 20183 answers, last by Shaglene 11:09 Wed 04th Jul 2018
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Voltage

Ikea!

And in Local news tonight. .. there is a mysterious crime spree going on at our local IKEA. The police are having a hard time putting the pieces together....
22:51 Tue 03rd Jul 20187 answers, last by maggiebee 11:20 Wed 04th Jul 2018
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Voltage

At The Italian!

The waiter at our local italian restaurant asked if "would you like some fresh ground pepper on your pasta". "OK" I replied. "Tell me when". "Well Before I eat it would be nice"....
14:20 Mon 02nd Jul 20182 answers, last by Shaglene 15:39 Mon 02nd Jul 2018
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Voltage

Weather?

When it's sunny I think 'Beer garden.' When it rains I usually go to the pub for a while. When it's snowing I like to sit in front of the TV with a case of Beer. I'm starting to think I have a real...
23:24 Sat 30th Jun 20184 answers, last by Patsy33 11:38 Sun 01st Jul 2018
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Voltage

A Busker!

I just left the train station and a busker just ran up to me and said he was going to beat me with the neck of his guitar! I said, is that a fret?...
12:23 Thu 21st Jun 20189 answers, last by Shaglene 14:26 Sat 30th Jun 2018
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marval

My Fetish

I have a foot fetish. Anything measuring exactly 12 inches really turns me on. I have not been having much luck with the men lately. This week I have already had two pick me out of the lineup. My...
17:30 Thu 21st Jun 20186 answers, last by carlyle92 12:30 Fri 28th Aug 2020
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Voltage

Ladies Cricket!

Well I've just been along to see the ladies cricket team for the first time. Glad I did... There was a woman bowler with big boobs, who took long run-ups ..what a bowler! You should have seen her...
15:08 Mon 25th Jun 20181 answer, last by Shaglene 14:13 Sat 30th Jun 2018
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Lego!

My mate has swallowed some Lego. The doctor's aren't too worried, but he's shiitting bricks....
06:37 Wed 27th Jun 20184 answers, last by Shaglene 14:10 Sat 30th Jun 2018
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marval

My Brother

My brother has just been admitted to hospital after eating an entire CCTV camera. He’s being closely monitored. Police are looking for the owner of stolen prosthetic leg. They are asking anyone with...
18:30 Sat 16th Jun 20182 answers, last by Shaglene 13:48 Sat 30th Jun 2018
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Patsy33

Old Sea Captain

An old sea captain was sitting on a bench near the wharf when a young man walked up and sat down. The young man had spiked hair and each spike was a different color.... green, red, orange, blue, and...
10:23 Tue 12th Jun 20181 answer, last by Shaglene 14:30 Tue 12th Jun 2018
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World Cup!

I gave my wife £200 and told her to go out on Thursday and leave me in peace to watch the World Cup. "I won't need that much," she laughed. "You will," I said. "It's got to last you five weeks."...
14:32 Mon 11th Jun 20185 answers, last by Shaglene 14:23 Tue 12th Jun 2018
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marval

My Doctor

I phoned my doctor this morning. I said, “Every time I talk to somebody I make wild animal noises and I try to encourage them to make the same noise.” He said, “Okay, can you bear with me...
14:01 Mon 11th Jun 20182 answers, last by Shaglene 14:20 Tue 12th Jun 2018
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albaqwerty

I Found A Lion

in my wardrobe. Asked him what he was doing there and he replied ''Narnia business''...
13:08 Mon 11th Jun 201816 answers, last by Arksided 14:21 Tue 12th Jun 2018
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bookbinder

Golf Club Dinner

John is a member of his local golf club, and he arrives at the clubhouse on the evening of the annual dinner, to be greeted by the secretary. "John!" says the secretary. "The after-dinner speaker...
12:39 Sun 10th Jun 201810 answers, last by 10ClarionSt 15:10 Sun 10th Jun 2018
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Voltage

My Wedding Night!

I remember my wedding night, my missus got undressed and lay out spreadeagled on the bed. She said "You know what I want don't you"? I replied "Yes, by the looks of it, the whole bloody bed"...
20:00 Fri 08th Jun 201815 answers, last by Arksided 15:02 Sun 10th Jun 2018
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marval

Sailing

I sailed my old boat out to sea this afternoon and did 17 knots in her. Surely there’s an easier way to tie your laces. I went to selfridges yesterday, it was pretty good. I sold nine of them. I...
17:45 Wed 06th Jun 20183 answers, last by Patsy33 20:02 Wed 06th Jun 2018
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marval

Last Night

Last night in the pub someone spiked my drink with anesthetic I think it was a local. I have just been to see a film called The Contortionist It had an unbelievable twist at the end. I was at the...
21:55 Fri 01st Jun 20183 answers, last by Shaglene 09:18 Sun 03rd Jun 2018
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DTCwordfan

Airline Jokes

Add yours.... following on from Shaglene's Blonde Passenger A guy is sitting at an airport bar when he noticed a beautiful woman sitting next to him. He thought to himself, "Wow, she's so gorgeous she...
20:39 Thu 31st May 201810 answers, last by Shaglene 10:13 Fri 01st Jun 2018
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marval

A Seminar

I have just been to a seminar discussing mythical Welsh creatures. It didn’t half drag on. I applied for a job as a psychic once. It was a short interview; all they asked was “Where do you see...
18:00 Wed 30th May 20185 answers, last by marval 16:42 Fri 01st Jun 2018
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maggiebee

Homework

Teacher: "Where is your homework?" Pupil: "I lost it fighting this kid who said you weren't the best teacher in the school."...
12:48 Thu 31st May 20183 answers, last by Shaglene 09:41 Fri 01st Jun 2018

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