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Shaglene

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marval

I Took

I took my boots to the cobbler. I said “I want these soled please.” I went back the next day, he gave me 10pounds. He said “I have sold them for you.”...
19:51 Fri 27th Apr 20189 answers, last by bookbinder 16:38 Sat 28th Apr 2018
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Voltage

Twitter!

Just asked Jonathan Ross whether he Tweets... "Oh yes" he said.. "I tweeted my wife to a nice womantic meal just the other night!"...
19:25 Fri 27th Apr 20186 answers, last by Shaglene 09:11 Sat 28th Apr 2018
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marval

I Once Tried

I once tried to be a fish farmer. It was a complete disaster though. I think I planted them too early. A man who lives down the road from me was selling his car, he said he wanted 800 pounds for it or...
16:44 Fri 27th Apr 20186 answers, last by Shaglene 09:05 Sat 28th Apr 2018
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Patsy33

Loan

I didn't think I'd get a loan from the bank for my knitting business, but when I turned up in one of my balaclavas........easy!...
16:52 Thu 26th Apr 20185 answers, last by Shaglene 14:02 Fri 27th Apr 2018
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marval

Shopping

I have just been shopping at Farmfoods, got three bales of hay and a bucket of pig swill. I have started a newspaper solely based around ice cream, I’ve just had my first scoop. Seven pirates and a...
18:02 Thu 26th Apr 20185 answers, last by Shaglene 13:58 Fri 27th Apr 2018
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Patsy33

Hyena

I've been living with a hyena. It hasn't been easy I can tell you.. but there's been a lot of laughs along the way...
12:16 Fri 27th Apr 201831 answers, last by Patsy33 10:40 Sat 28th Apr 2018
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Patsy33

New Inspector

I've heard there's a new Inspector starting at the local police station. He's half man and half horse. His called Inspector Morse...
11:17 Thu 26th Apr 201813 answers, last by Patsy33 17:48 Thu 26th Apr 2018
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Voltage

Sad News..

Sad news.. At the Nestle factory today a member of staff was seriously injured when a pallet of chocolate fell more than 50 feet and crushed him underneath... He tried in vain to attract attention but...
14:26 Thu 26th Apr 201818 answers, last by vulcan42 08:35 Fri 27th Apr 2018
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Voltage

Potato!

My mate hates his surname, Potato. Although not as much as his wife, Jackie does. Went for a job as a potato packer.. Ended up getting the sack. Keep your jacket potatoes wrapped in tin foil at home....
13:37 Wed 25th Apr 201818 answers, last by Shaglene 07:43 Thu 26th Apr 2018
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marval

News

In Fairytale News: The Pied Piper has 12 rats behind him. More to follow. I was round at my friend’s house for his annual fancy dress party last night. Next year I am going to go as a triangle I...
20:29 Wed 25th Apr 20187 answers, last by Chipchopper 11:04 Thu 26th Apr 2018
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Patsy33

Isn't It Annoying?

Isn't it annoying when you get something from a shop and you get home and realise it was buy one get one free. You think to yourself, "I could have had two shoes"........
15:38 Tue 24th Apr 201816 answers, last by Chipchopper 16:02 Tue 24th Apr 2018
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marval

More Adventure

My partner said to me this morning that he would like a bit more adventure in the bedroom. He is going to be well happy when he gets home later. I have put up an abseiling wall and a zip-line coming...
20:48 Mon 23rd Apr 201812 answers, last by DTCwordfan 18:23 Tue 24th Apr 2018
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Chipchopper

Careful What You Wish For

Bobs lawn mower had finally given up the ghost. His wife Mavis kept dropping big hints about getting the mower fixed before the grass gets too out of hand, but Bob just kept on making excuses and...
10:45 Tue 24th Apr 20188 answers, last by Hazlinny 17:21 Thu 08th Aug 2024
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Voltage

Tottenham Hotspurs!

I've just heard that next season Spurs will be sponsored by Viagra? Because they can't get past a semi....
19:38 Sun 22nd Apr 20183 answers, last by Shaglene 15:30 Mon 23rd Apr 2018
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Patsy33

How Do You Plead?

In court, the judge said to the man, "You have been accused of stealing top of the range toilet rolls. How do you plead? Quilty or not Quilty?"...
18:20 Sun 22nd Apr 201811 answers, last by Shaglene 15:25 Mon 23rd Apr 2018
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Patsy33

I Blame My Mother

I blame my mother for my poor sex life. All she told me was, 'The man goes on top and the woman underneath.' For three years my husband and I slept in bunk beds"...
11:10 Mon 23rd Apr 20188 answers, last by Voltage 19:09 Mon 23rd Apr 2018
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marval

I Took

I took my daughter for a ride on the carousel today. The staff at Heathrow Airport were outraged. A policeman pulled me over earlier, he asked me if my car had been checked. I told him no, it had...
16:19 Thu 19th Apr 20183 answers, last by Shaglene 14:29 Sun 22nd Apr 2018
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marval

I Am

I am writing a book on Indian curries. Its naan-fiction. I stand accused of unleashing a sleep-inducing gas in a courtroom. The jury’s still out. On Friday nights, instead of going to clubs, my...
17:44 Wed 18th Apr 20187 answers, last by Shaglene 14:21 Sun 22nd Apr 2018
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Voltage

Vegetarians !!

Where do vegetarians go on holiday? Quornwall....
13:53 Tue 17th Apr 201823 answers, last by marval 17:16 Tue 17th Apr 2018
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Voltage

Organise An Event!

i was asked to organise an event for people with Erectile Dysfunction. turned out to be a complete flop....
09:29 Tue 17th Apr 20184 answers, last by marval 13:37 Tue 17th Apr 2018

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