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Shaglene

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johnny.5

The Next Door Neighbour,s Dog

the next door neighbour's dog just had a crap on our lawn so the missus told me to get a shovel and throw it over their fence Well That's just great now we have no shovel and dog poo on the lawn !...
03:03 Sun 08th Apr 20187 answers, last by marval 14:52 Sun 08th Apr 2018
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Voltage

Got A Job!

I just got a job working in a full size cuckoo clock. It's a bit dull but it gets me out of the house....
19:21 Sat 07th Apr 20185 answers, last by Patsy33 11:43 Sun 08th Apr 2018
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marval

Refrain

Two little old ladies were walking through the park one Sunday afternoon. The band was playing a catchy sounding tune, and one of the old ladies said, "I wonder what the name of that tune is." The...
21:57 Sat 07th Apr 20186 answers, last by Patsy33 12:19 Sun 08th Apr 2018
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sunny-dave

What A Waste ...

https://postimg.org/image/k88xtusnr/...
12:33 Sat 07th Apr 20188 answers, last by Shaglene 17:45 Sat 07th Apr 2018
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spathiphyllum

Smelly Baker

Why did the baker have smelly hands? . . . . . . . Because he kneeded a poo...
10:42 Thu 05th Apr 201823 answers, last by Chipchopper 16:08 Sat 07th Apr 2018
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Voltage

Older Jimmy!

Teacher: If i gave you two apples, and when you get home your girlfriend gave you one, what would you have? Jimmy: Two apples and a smile on my face !!!...
10:20 Thu 05th Apr 201814 answers, last by Shaglene 18:00 Thu 05th Apr 2018
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marval

I Tried

I tried walking onto an army base. I was stopped by a guard, who was only 5 foot 4 inches. “Sorry,” he said, “you’re not allowed on here.” I thought, “He’s a little territorial.”...
16:55 Mon 02nd Apr 20185 answers, last by Voltage 18:17 Mon 02nd Apr 2018
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Voltage

Tongue Twister!

The world tongue-twister champion has just been arrested. I hear they're gonna give him a really tough sentence....
22:27 Fri 30th Mar 20189 answers, last by Patsy33 15:02 Sat 31st Mar 2018
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marval

I Have

I have had to make a lot of cuts at work. I love being a surgeon. I have been trying to climb the ladder at work for about a year now, maybe I’m just not cut out to be a fire fighter. My partner...
20:53 Tue 27th Mar 20183 answers, last by Patsy33 18:02 Wed 28th Mar 2018
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Voltage

My Girlfriend!

I've asked my girlfriend to polish my medieval battle uniform while I go to the pub. She always said she wanted a night in, shining armour.
21:36 Tue 27th Mar 201816 answers, last by Shaglene 15:05 Wed 28th Mar 2018
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Voltage

My Uncle!

Just found out my uncle has left me a stately home in his will...i never knew he had any money?. I have no idea where Sod Hall is, I'm just off to find it on Google now!...
09:12 Wed 28th Mar 20184 answers, last by DTCwordfan 17:58 Wed 28th Mar 2018
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Patsy33

My Grandfather

My Grandfather died last week and we didn't get to say goodbye. All the more poignant as he drowned in his bowl of Cheerios....
18:05 Tue 27th Mar 20188 answers, last by Patsy33 21:12 Tue 27th Mar 2018
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DTCwordfan

Rabbit Joke - Again

This mate of mine comes home from work one day to find his dog with the neighbour's pet rabbit in his mouth. The rabbit is very dead, stiff and pushing up the daisies, and my mate panics. He thinks...
18:48 Mon 26th Mar 20184 answers, last by Bazile 15:06 Tue 27th Mar 2018
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Patsy33

Well Aisle Be Blessed!

I told my partner "I want to walk down the Aisle." So he sent me to Asda for a crate of beer!...
19:26 Mon 26th Mar 20189 answers, last by Shaglene 14:47 Tue 27th Mar 2018
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marval

My Doorbell

My doorbell rang this morning. I didn’t even know it had a phone. I am on a mission to wipe out all stores from a German multi-national supermarket chain. It will take a long time but I’ll do it...
19:39 Mon 26th Mar 20183 answers, last by Shaglene 14:45 Tue 27th Mar 2018
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Voltage

My Boss!

My boss told me that I need to start taking my job a bit more seriously. I was so shocked I nearly wet my clown costume!. This morning at work my boss told me to "have a great day" So I'm going to the...
11:10 Tue 27th Mar 201813 answers, last by KerriFennell01 05:30 Tue 10th Jan 2023
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Patsy33

Times Were Hard

Growing up we had an outside toilet. We live in a house now.........
12:35 Fri 23rd Mar 20187 answers, last by Shaglene 14:53 Mon 26th Mar 2018
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Voltage

“What A Bonny Baby,”!

A middle-aged man and a woman with a baby found themselves travelling in the same railway carriage. “What a bonny baby,” commented the man. “Thank you,” replied the woman. “She’s very...
17:01 Fri 23rd Mar 20183 answers, last by Shaglene 14:51 Mon 26th Mar 2018
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marval

I Was

I was on my way home from work, when my partner rang me and said. ”On your way home, pick something up for tea.” So, I bought a kettle. I was in a restaurant last night and the waiter asked me to...
23:22 Sat 24th Mar 20186 answers, last by Shaglene 14:46 Mon 26th Mar 2018
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Patsy33

Recently..

Recently I went on a ballooning holiday – I put on four stone!...
15:59 Sun 25th Mar 20184 answers, last by Shaglene 14:43 Mon 26th Mar 2018

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