I am thinking about buying a greyhound, I don’t know what my partner is going to say so I will run it by him first. Every month I give money to William Shatner, William Roach, and William Hague....
Paddy on First Aid Course Instructor asks “What would you do if your child swallowed the front door key?” Paddy “Climb through the window!” Paddy climbs the diving board with a fish The...
I went to a seminar about building temporary roads. I made my own way home I have just bought an Igloo from IKEA. 200 litres of water (freezer not included). After falling overboard on a cruise ship,...
Boy: "I got an F in Maths." Father: "Why?" Boy: "The teacher asked 'How much is 2×3?' and I said '6'" Father: "But that's right!" Boy: "Then she asked me 'How much is 3×2?'" Father: "What's the...
Ever since I misplaced my dictionary, I have been at a loss for words. Today I heard on the news that there was a spillage of syrup on the motorway. It makes a change from the usual jams. My partner...
I joined three golf clubs today. Now I can practice my putting in the garden from the upstairs bedroom window. I was milking some cows today. I got most of their money before they noticed the cards...
I sold my car in the local newspaper today. The man that bought it spent three hours unwrapping it. As a therapist, I have found that the most difficult patients are magicians. They never reveal their...
I was waiting at the bus stop the other day.
But I gave up in the end.
Every time I approached someone to ask if they would like to see a menu they just looked at me like I was stupid....
What do have if there are nuts on the wall? Walnuts........... What do you have if you have nuts on your chest? Chestnuts............. What do you have if you have nuts on your chin? ????...
