I met a nurse who took me to Italy. Next thing I know, she has me arrested. And that’s how I learned about Florence, night in jail. ___ I didn’t win any medals at the international astronomy quiz last... ...
I was disappointed with the new film called Fishing, although it had a great cast! ___ Woman sitting next to a man on a plane, every time he sneezes he wipes his cock, after the 3rd time the woman... ...
I'm Hungary Maybe you should Czech the fridge I'm Russian to the kitchen Is there any Turkey? We have some but it's covered with a layer of Greece Ew, there is Norway you can eat that Please Finnish... ...
As I was rushed into A&E, the paramedic shouted “BP is 148!” I thought that’s not really the time to talk about petrol prices. ___ The seeds I sent for have germinated in the envelope. It's left me... ...
Tom gets on a plane in Edinburgh for a flight to New York. A very attractive young lady gets on the plane and sits right next to him. Wanting to start a conversation with her he asks “Business... ...
Just bought myself a book about reincarnation, it was £45 but I thought, *** you only live once! ___ The next person who asks me for pineapple juice, cranberry juice, lemonade and a slice of... ...
An elderly couple entered a McDonald’s store and sat next to a table where some young people were having dinner. The old man walked over to the box and made the order for him. He unwrapped the... ...
By the time the sailor pulled into a little town every hotel room was taken. "You've got to have a room somewhere," he pleaded. "Or just a bed, I don't care where." "Well, I do have a double room... ...
This guy was staggering along the road, much the worse for the drink, throwing empty beer cans into the street and falling into peoples gardens. His singing gained the attention of a passing... ...
I was in a Café happily dipping my biscuits in other people's tea and they called the police... Said I was Dunkin' disorderly. ___ I stayed at a hotel yesterday and couldn't help noticing that some... ...
Wife: Can I cut my hair and make it short? Husband: Cut it. W: I took lot of efforts to grow it long.. H: Then don't cut it W: They say short hair is the fashion these days.. H: Then cut it W: What if... ...
My mate lost a toe and they replaced it with a rubber one. His name is Roberto! ___ England has won the World Hairbrushing Championships! It’s combing home, It’s combing home… ___ It's proving very... ...
Beware of an online survey reputedly from the Magic Circle. They’re all trick questions!___Just had to tell my kids we can’t afford to take them to Disneyland, but I did promise to take lots of... ...