Quizzes & Puzzles6 mins ago
Just been to Tesco - was getting a sandwich & some crisps for lunch and the guy at the checkout asked if I wanted to go for a drink...I told him I've got a husband...I told him I was flattered but...
"Armstrong," the boss said, "I happen to know that the reason you didn't come to work yesterday was that you were out playing golf." "That's a rotten lie!" Armstrong protested. "And I have the fish to...
I wouldn’t say they were posh, but the toilet coughed before it flushed. I wouldn’t say my wife’s ugly, but the milkman flirts with me. When I was a child, I had wax in my ears. Dad didn’t take me to...
A young Chinese girl going on her 1st date. Her mother warned her...."1st he kisses your cheek; then he'll kiss your breasts, you'll enjoy; than he want to go on top. You must not allow it so as not...
A Veterinarian was feeling ill and went to see her doctor. The doctor asked her all the usual questions, about symptoms, how long had they been occurring, etc., when she interrupted him. "Hey look,...
A friend of mine always wanted to be run over by a steam train.
When it happened, he was chuffed to bits!...
When a new child visited our Sunday school, the teacher greeted him and asked his age. The little boy held up four fingers. "Oh, you're four," said the teacher. "And when will you be 5?" The child...
President Joe Biden decides it is time to do some public relations at a local Washington DC nursing home. The President begins his "tour" down the main hallway and passes by a little old man who...
An Irishman goes into the confessional box after years of being away from the Church. There's a fully equipped bar with Guinness on tap. On the other wall is a dazzling array of the finest cigars and...
Jack has a girlfriend he takes to a hotel for a night of pleasure. Lying in bed the following morning he's getting heartburn from worrying about the possible unpleasant consequences that could result...
The Postman rings the doorbell and as says: I have a parcel here, but the name on its obliterated.
Man says: "Can't be for us then. Our name is Smith."...
A sperm donor, a carpenter, and Julius Ceasar walk into a bar.
He came, he saw, he conquered....
There are 500 bricks on a plane. One falls off. How many are left? 499 What are the three steps to putting an elephant in a refrigerator? Open fridge, put elephant in, close fridge What are the four...
There was a husband and his wife sitting next to a drunk in a bar. suddenly, the drunk stands up and yells, " ATTENTION ALL "and farts loudly. The wife is extremely embarrassed, and the husband looks...
The Queen of England was showing the Archbishop of Canterbury around the Royal Stables when one of the stallions close by farted so loudly it couldn't be ignored. 'Oh dear,' said the Queen, 'How...
Knock knock.
Who’s there?
To.
To who?
No. To whom....
What do you call a factory that makes OK products?
A satisfactory...
Overheard by a Lackey. “She’d better not kick the bucket until that cheque clears”...
After spending 3-1/2 hours enduring the long lines, surly clerks and insane regulations at the vehicle licencing office, a lady stopped at a toy store to pick up a gift for her son. She brought her...
A little boy and his grandfather are raking leaves in the garden. The little boy finds an earthworm trying to get back into its hole. He says, "Grandpa, I bet I can put that worm back in that hole."...
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