When you are

[brenda]

worried absolutely sick about something, how do you deal with it ?

Any advice really , really welcome .

Have a problem , can't discuss at the moment , so any advice would be helpful.

[shaking]

Ask us Brenda, we will help you,
You have helped many people on here so feel free.

[sara3]

only worry about things you have some control over. also, only deal with the immediate issues. don't look too far ahead. one thing at a time x

[no-knowledge]

head on ........it's the only way . why prolong it?

[im-dan.glee]

best advice dont post it on chatterbank

try body and soul

[brenda]

Thanks shaking , it is very personal for me and my family.
Need to get my head round this first , before I can begin ti explain.
Thanks so much for your message.

[brenda]

Sorry im-dan.glee ,bit confused forgot the sections.

[clever trev]

Concentrate on the solution, NOT THE PROBLEM.

[ParkChoi]

"Have a problem , can't discuss at the moment , so any advice would be helpful."

how would we know the best course of advice to give you when we don't know the problem at hand? it's had to say not to worry especially when one's left in the dark.

[ParkChoi]

'hard'

[aniani]

nothing is insurmountable, good luck brenda

[paraffin]

brenda:

A polite suggestion - if and when you feel ready to share the problem, then do so.

Until then, nobody here could unfortunately try to offer you any advice at all.

Good luck, though, make sure you do discuss whatever it is at least with anyone you can trust. Thinking of you.

[shaking]

Take your time and be calm, we are supportive and will help if at all possible.

[brenda]

ParkChoi-- thanks I know I am not being very helpful, but at the moment a bit too worked up to even think straight , never mind type.

[bensmum]

Hi Brenda
Whatever the problem it has presumably happened so it's no good dwelling on it. Take it a bit at a time and deal with it as and however you can. As clever trev said, concentrate on possible solutions. When you are ready we will all be glad to help out
xxxx

[ParkChoi]

things have a way of working out. hope your problem work out real soon for you, and you are able to look back at it and say to yourself "silly me, why was i worrying". :-) all the best.

[Panic Button]

When you do feel able to discuss it, I wouldn't recommend answerbank as the place to do so.

The majority on here are fantastically helpful and supportive. However you will invariably find a small number who will be unbelieveably hurtful and unpleasant. This could rock you backwards if you are feeling tender.

Depending on the type of problem, perhaps the Citizens Advice Bureaux could help or point you in the right direction.

[brenda]

O.K , the problem , my son and his partner , have as we speak split up.They have been together for 8 years , they have no children.They were both with me on Mother's day and I had no inkling of what was to happen.I feel devastated for them both and totally , totally stupid not to have even been aware of their unhappiness.I don't really feel that I have been much of a Mum to not even notice.

I know this is in the wrong place ,so apologies again.

[paraffin]

brenda:

Stop beating yourself up over something you may not have been able to prevent.

Still early days, so who knows that they might not get back together again?

But unless you were directly involved in their break-up, there's no logical reason to blame yourself.

Look at it this way, no one has died, I know that at the moment that might not sound very comforting, but as I said, it's still very early days.

Hope it all works out and gets better for your peace of mind at least. Best of luck.

[sara3]

brenda, many couples meander along when they're not truly happy. both of them deserves the chance to find that true happiness. they're grown ups and have to deal with it as they see best. there's nothing you could have done, just be supportive.

I'm sure they hid their problems from almost everyone. don't beat yourself up over this.

[clever trev]

Sorry B, thats not a problem, its life, and as you say there's no children.