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Jokes

Looking for a laugh? There are plenty of funny jokes being told on The AnswerBank, so sit back, relax and have a read.

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Rondy
I got my face slapped by the new girl at work today. I only asked If she spits or swallows.
It seems like a reasonable question, being as we are both wine tasters. ___ A thief broke into my house... ...
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retrocop
Two little boys were at a wedding service, One boy leaned over and asked his friend ,"How many wives can a man have?" " Sixteen" came back the reply. "Four richer,four poorer ,four better and four... ...
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Rondy
I borrowed a blind friend of mine £20 the other day, He promised me he would pay me back the next time he saw me.
Uh Oh, I should have known better. ___ My wife left me for another man. All that lies... ...
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Rondy
I woke up this morning to the sun coming through my bedroom window.
I need to have a word with that new paper boy. ___ A father came home from a long business trip to find his son riding a very fancy... ...
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1ozzy
..dilemma    https://youtu.be/_RXH-JQTov4?si=YAC96HdHFE19WbB5 ...
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1ozzy
..some that retire don't live very long. https://ibb.co/GxNj4Nm ...
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Rondy
My wife and l decided we would never go to bed annoyed at each other.
We've been sitting up since Tuesday. ___ Just went into the shop and said "Can I pay by card? He said "No problem, what card do... ...
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Han-Valen
Three guys go to a ski lodge, and there aren't enough rooms, so they have to share a bed. In the middle of the night, the guy on the right wakes up and says, "I had this wild, vivid dream of... ...
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maggiebee
An old, tired-looking dog wandered into a man’s yard. He could tell from his collar and well-fed belly that he had a home and was well taken care of. The dog calmly came over to the man and he gave... ...
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davebro3
I write to bring to your notice that the International Monetary Funds (IMF) has selected your email address among the Scam victims listed to be Compensated of $300, 000.00 ( Three Hundred Thousand... ...
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Rondy
Summer school holidays were over and young Jack returned to school.
Only two days later his teacher phoned his mother to tell her that Jack was misbehaving.
"Wait a minute," mother said. "I had Jack... ...
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1ozzy
..painters and tech companies unite   https://ibb.co/Hp58J27 ...
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Chipchopper
I went to see my doctor after I found myself saying everything twice. He gave me a repeat prescription
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Rondy
LET'S LAUGH AWAY OUR STRESS WITH ANTS 1. 5 ants + 5 ants = Tenants 2. To bring an ant from another country into your country = Important 3. Ant that goes to school = Brilliant 4. Ant that is looking... ...
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Rondy
Shaun and Patrick are on a cruise ship. "It's awful quiet on the deck tonight," says Shaun.
Patrick says: "Maybe they're all listening to the band."
"What band, there isn't one." says Shaun.
Patrick... ...
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1ozzy
..some dogs are happy.   https://ibb.co/NSxhMLK ...
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Khandro
No comment. 🤣 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6zPPvUTAeuQ ...
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DTCwordfan
I went to one of those psychic shows, the woman looked at me and said " you will walk, you will walk", I thought what a fake, there's nothing wrong with my legs, so I got up and left, and when I... ...
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Rondy
A teacher asks her students to discuss what their dads do for a living. Little Mary raises her hand first and says, "My dad's a solicitor for the government. He puts the bad guys in jail." Little... ...
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Rondy
I'm just back from the shops there and seen a blonde shouting into an envelope.
I asked her what she was doing and she said she was sending a voice mail. ___ Paddy buys a humpty dumpty from aldi.
It's... ...

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