Quizzes & Puzzles77 mins ago
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Recently I bought the autobiography of the man who invented sellotape.
Trouble is I can't find the beginning.
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Due to personal reasons I will be saying “aye” and “arggg” instead of yes and no from... ...
Trouble is I can't find the beginning.
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Due to personal reasons I will be saying “aye” and “arggg” instead of yes and no from... ...
I friend of mine had a penis extension – now his house looks really stupid.
I'm at the annual Spoonerism conference. They told me there was a food shortage at the venue... but it turns out it was a complete lack of pies.
She wanted to serve her guests mushroom-smothered steak, but she had no mushrooms and no time to buy them. Her husband suggested, "Why don't you go pick some of the mushrooms that are growing wild... ...
I asked my grandson what they learnt in school today. He said "Gay men like Sony, lesbians favour Yamaha, and transgender people prefer Bose."
I had to tell him that those are just stereo... ...
I had to tell him that those are just stereo... ...
Next Monday is Afro-caribbean hair day at work.
I'm dreading it…
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"I had a job drilling holes for water..it was well boring".
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eBay is so useless. I tried to look up lighters and all they had was... ...
I'm dreading it…
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"I had a job drilling holes for water..it was well boring".
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eBay is so useless. I tried to look up lighters and all they had was... ...
I attempted suicide once – I came pretty close to succeeding, I killed the guy standing next to me.
I received some junk mail this morning addressed to The Occupier. I've redirected it to the Israeli Embassy.
I went into my local Chippy last night and asked for a sardine supper.
The fella behind the counter said: "Get lost! I've got bigger fish to fry."
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It took years of trial and error for my family... ...
The fella behind the counter said: "Get lost! I've got bigger fish to fry."
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It took years of trial and error for my family... ...
Why ...do banks leave both doors open and then chain the pens to the counters. Why ......do we leave cars worth thousands of pounds in the driveway and put our useless junk in the garage. EVER... ...
I went to a swingers club last night, the doorman said its £25 to get in, or you can pay £30 that includes a meal. I paid £30 and went in; then a naked Middle-eastern looking guy came up to me and... ...
Zookeeper says to Paddy "The Gorilla is on heat & we need someone to have sex with it. Would you consider doing it for £5OO?" Paddy replies "I will on 3 conditions' 1st i'm not kissing it, 2nd my... ...
When my local sperm bank announced that they would accept donations by post – I came in a jiffy.
A friend recently told me that for security purposes, he changed his computer password from time to time - I said that’s the same word. I advised him that his password should be a secret – he later... ...
. . . . . time to put the sprouts on for Christmas 😁
Cyril and Tom, two retired locomotive drivers, were reminiscing in the BR Retirement Home: Cyril: How many derailments did you have Tom? Tom: I don't know, it was difficult to keep track.
I was going to tell a joke about oil,but I thought it was a bit to crude.
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I went to collect my dracula costume, ready for Halloween. They handed me a Manchester United shirt instead.
I explained,... ...
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I went to collect my dracula costume, ready for Halloween. They handed me a Manchester United shirt instead.
I explained,... ...
I have just finished my sandwich filling degree, I do my final eggs ham tomorrow.
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