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Jokes

Looking for a laugh? There are plenty of funny jokes being told on The AnswerBank, so sit back, relax and have a read.

1 to 20 of 20

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Rondy
My wife and i often laugh about how competitive we are
I laugh louder though. ___ Because our new refrigerator was taller than our old one, I told my wife I'd have to cut away part of an overhanging... ...
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Rondy
I've got a friend who can only count up to three, but he still got a job.
He puts the crisps into Walkers crisp packets. ___ A lady dropped her handbag in the bustle of holiday shopping. An honest,... ...
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Rondy
I asked my grandma how she was enjoying her new stair lift. she said it was driving her up the wall. ___ I'm playing cricket against my local fish & chip shop later. Their fielders and bowlers... ...
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Spicerack
with a tractor salesman. Sent me a John Deere letter this morning. 😠
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Rondy
A couple, Dave and Mabel, were staying at the Grand Hotel Llandudno -- fourth floor.
Dave calls the Hotel Manager "Come up quick. we've been arguing and Mabel wants to throw herself out of the... ...
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zabado
1st guy " I call my wife strwberry ". 2nd guy " why do you call her that "?. " because she's perfectly formed, gorgeous and is so sweet" 2nd guy " I call my wife blueberry " 1st guy "and why do you... ...
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Rondy
I was talking to a girl in a pub the other night and I said "You remind me of my little toe!"
She said "Is that because I’m small and cute?" I replied "No, it's because I’ll probably end up banging... ...
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maggiebee
A new supermarket opened near my house. It has an automatic water mister to keep the produce fresh. Just before it goes on, you hear the sound of distant thunder and the smell of fresh rain. When... ...
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Rondy
Just pipped in the pub quiz again tonight.

Apparently Joan of Arc was not Noah's wife.
___

We was so poor as kids my mum used to buy our clothes out of the army and navy store.

Wasn't so funny going... ...
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Rondy
Dorothy and Edna, two “senior” widows, are talking.
Dorothy: “That nice George Johnson asked me out for a date. I know you went out with him last week, and I wanted to talk with you about him... ...
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Chipchopper
Some idiot at the office turned up for work with sticky hair, I said to him "why on earth did you come to work looking like that" "He said, well, the label on the jar said... ...
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Rondy
A mother passing by her son's bedroom was astonished to see the bed was nicely made, and everything was picked up. Then, she saw an envelope, propped up prominently on the pillow. It was addressed,... ...
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Rondy
Just bought a humpty dumpty toy from Aldi.
It's brilliant, it comes with Aldi Kings horses and Aldi Kings men. ___ Managed to get hold of a box of counterfeit Mr Kipling Apple tarts.
They're... ...
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William51
 Why are crabs so bad at sharing?.   Because they are always shellfish.                                                                                            When does a joke become a dad... ...
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Rondy
When I was younger, I said to my dad: "Can I use the lawnmower to make some extra money?"
"Sure son, you go ahead".
So I sold it! ___ A guy lives with his wife in the same little town where they both... ...
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Chipchopper
An elderly man answered a knock at the door, and the caller said, "I'm collecting on behalf of the save our swimming pool calpain and all donations will be greatly received. The elderly man said... ...
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melv16
..biscuit that's named after one of the Commodores?  Lionel Richtea...
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Rondy
Put all my dogging gear up for sale on eBay.Haven’t had any bids yet, but there are 12 people watching.
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I've just noticed that People that have the most birthdays tend to live the longest.
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Chipchopper
1st guy, "my old eyes are not what they used to be.....did you see where my ball wend" 2nd guy, Yep...but I can't remember😏

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