Having my pooch put to sleep

[lil75]

My dog started limping so I took him to the vets after discovering a lump on his groin, they told me after x raying him they found disovered he had an infection and thought the lump could have been an abcess, they put a drain in his leg and I had to bring him home....he cried for 24 hours non stop, no amount of attention or fuss would stop him, a few days later he had the tubes removed from his leg and they did a biopsy on the lump, he was fine after that and didnt cry at all, however as the next week progressed I noticed the lump was getting bigger and bigger, I took him back to the vets and they said it was just swelling....1 day later his leg had tripled in size and he wouldnt get up, so I picked him up and had a look at him...it was shocking just how much this lump had grown overnight, so I went straight bak to the vets, by this point his skin was starting to split open and bleed. They phoned the lab to see if his reults of the biopsy were back and they found it was an agressive tumour and said that his quality of life at the moment wasnt good, i agreed. There was no other option but to put him to sleep, I was actually quite distraught about this as it happened so quickly, I felt awful signing the papers for them to do it, he was looking at me and wagging his tail :o( and when they put him on the table to do it, he was sitting there all innocent just looking around, at that point I decided that I couldnt watch the dog I love be put to sleep, I kissed him on the head and told him I loved him and stepped out of the room whilst they did it, I saw him after, kissed him again and told him how much I loved him....I walked out and howled with tears when I got home.....I feel so guilty, and I miss him so much, I feel bad that I signed his life away....I posted on here as my partner doesnt understand and I suppose I just want to talk to anyone who has been through the same.

[pastafreak]

Oh hun...this has almost brought me to tears. PLEASE,PLEASE do NOT feel guilty. You have given him peace,and the absence of pain. If the tumour was so aggressive,he would have become quite poorly very quickly. Please just try to remember the fun times you had. It is never easy having a loved pet put to sleep....but it is always for the best xx

[boxtops]

M75, I think you will find that lots of us understand, and I feel so sorry for you in your grief - particularly as it was all so quick. Please be assured that we will all support you in that you did the right thing for your dog - there is no greater love for a pet than to give him up, to save prolonging his suffering. To have kept him going would have meant you saw him suffer, too - and doggie will have trusted you to do right by him. Your partner may be one of those people who doesn't understand how much a pet means to a person, they are a vital part of your life, and you have to have time and space to grieve and come to terms. I understand the guilt feelings but they are normal, I am sure others will say the same. You have done entirely the right thing, not letting your loved pet suffer. We're with you. Please come back and post if you feel like it, we will understand.

[carmalee]

I'm afaraid that's the price we pay for loving our animals - I had my beloved Collie put to sleep last year and it was the hardest thing I'd every done but it was best for her and that's what you've got to hang on to - what you did was the last decent thing an owner can do for a pet - of course you feel terrible but try and be thankful that you were there for him when he desperately needed you - it doesn't bear thinking about what he would have gone through had you not been brave enough to make the decision. You did a brilliant thing for him - the alternative would have meant his last time would have been painful and frightening for him - you spared him that so try not to feel too bad.

[Greedyfly]

It is truly awful when you have to put a pet down. They are a part of the family. Not just an animal. Its is understandable you are upset. But you know in your heart of hearts you did the right thing. I had to have my dog out down a few years ago and it was one of the worst things I had to do, he had an infection and it spread to his lungs. Like you I cried like a baby. I now have a cat and I love the little blighter to death. I would be heart broken if I had to put him down, truly. I hope you feel better soon. Don't beat yourself up, you did nothing wrong.

[mrs.chappie]

So very sorry to hear that sad news, lil. It's always a horrible decision to have to make. I went through it many times myself when I used to take in rescued animals, and many others on here know how awful that feeling is too.

Only time will help to ease the pain a little - although it won't feel like that at all right now. Take care. xxx

[20SilkCut]

Oh lil - i really feel for you - please dont feel guilty - you did a very brave thing - you did the best thing for your doggie. You loved him enough to put him out of pain and misery. There were no other options available to you. Your dog gave you much love and he trusted you and loved you enough to realise that you would help him when he was in pain.

I know none of this helps you at the minute....but read over the answers at some time in the future.... In the meantime,...try and get lots of hugs off your hubby and come and chat to us when ever you need to.

[lankeela]

So sorry to hear this, we've all been there and it doesn't get any easier no matter how many animals you have. At least we can do this last thing for them, unlike with people who we sometimes have to watch suffer till the bitter end. The fact he was wagging his tail meant he left you in peace, and as I always say at times like this, better a day too soon than a moment too late. Think of all the good times and cherish the memories. And don't be afraid to cry for him, I am in tears writing this as it brings back all the memories of my beloved pets even those now long gone.

[lil75]

Ahh thankyou everyone...ive cried reading these msgs, they all have very valid meaning and reason, and its what I needed to hear. I found him 7 years ago in a forest eating old bones, he was filthy and had ticks and was matted and hungry. I took him home and as soon as we got in the door he was snuggling up to me, bless him. He has enjoyed his time with us and loved us very much, I took in a rescue dog too...a girl, to keep him company and he loved her to bits...she was looking for him the other night and shes been very quiet since he hasnt come home....deep down I know it was right and I did it for him...its just that innocent look that I think of that gets me every time......once again, thankyou all so much for taking the time to answer and sharing your stories and views with me...it has helped and I shall keep reading them over and over xxxx

[poodicat]

Oh,lil do understand,like the others we have all been through it,i have had two of my girls to put to sleep,the latter a mongrel called kelly,a border/collie cross who must have had some genetic illness,she was only 4 when i had to have her put to sleep,just like you she looked at me with trusting eyes,i was asked if i wanted to stay with her when she was put to sleep and i said no,i saw her afterwards,she seemed asleep,i told her i loved her and would always miss her,paid the vet through the tears,and took her dog lead on its last journey home to the bin,believe me you have done the right thing,and i always think of my two kellies with such love.....

[mrs.chappie]

He was very lucky to have had you, lil. You gave him a lovely life. [[[[HUG]]]]

[paddywak]

So sorry for your loss lil there's nothing I can really add to the other posts but to tell you every pet owner on site knows exactly how you feel as most of us have gone thought it ourselves at some stage, so have a good cry, give your other dog a few extra cuddles and remember the good times, you'll never forget him but it will get easier

[wolf63]

I think that it allowing a friend to die quickly as opposed to a long and painful death is a sign of great love. I think us humans should be able to have the same option.

[brenda]

lil75-- am so very sorry to read your news.I know exactly how you must be feeling as do all the others on this post and we feel for you with all our hearts.
In time things will get better,and you will be able to remember all the good times you and your pet had together.
You rescued him 7 years ago and gave him a wonderful life , with all the love in the world ,but things change and this time you have rescued him again from an agonising death.
You will grieve , for many a day and feel so guilty , but try if you can to recall the good times you both had.and gradually things will get better for you.
We are all thinking of you , most of us have been in your position and know just how hard things are at present.
As has been said , if you want to talk we are here,and you and your pet are in our hearts.Take care. Brenda.x

[Dris]

Im so very sorry for what you are going through.You were very brave -just wanted to let you know that -big cuddles xx

[wendilla]

I know exactly what you are going through. I had my lovely golden Lab put to sleep a few months ago I just could not after the happy life he had had to watch him go down hill. He had been under treatment for his legs for 2 years but it wasnt caused my overweight. I cannot bring myself to have another as he is still with me everywhere. He was so clever and knew my every move.Light a candle beside his photo and read this poem .Hope it helps.
Just this side of Heaven is a place called Rainbow Bridge - .

"When an animal dies that has been especially close to someone here, that pet goes to Rainbow Bridge. There are meadows and hills for all our special friends so they can run and play together. There is plenty of food, water and sunshine and our friends are warm and comfortable.

All the animals who had been ill and old are restored to health and vigour. Those who were hurt or maimed are made whole and strong again, just as we remember them in our dreams of days and times gone by. The animals are happy and content, except for one small thing; they each miss someone very special to them, who had to be left behind.

They all run and play together, but the day comes when one suddenly stops and looks into the distance. His bright eyes are intent. His eager body quivers. Suddenly he begins to run from the group, flying over the green grass, his legs carrying him faster and faster.

You have been spotted, and when you and your special friend finally meet, you cling together in joyous reunion, never to be parted again. The happy kisses rain upon your face; your hands again caress the beloved head, and you look once more into the trusting eyes of your pet, so long gone from your life but never absent from your heart.

Then you cross Rainbow Bridge together…"

[lil75]

Once again, lovely replies, tis all what I need and want to hear, someone shared a poem with me and I would like to share it with you all....

If it should be that I grow frail and weak
And pain should keep me from my sleep,
Then will you do what must be done?
For this - the last battle - can't be won.
... See More
You will be sad I understand,
But dont let grief then stay your hand,
For on this day, more than on the rest,
Your love and friendship must stand the test.
We have had so many happy years,
You wouldn't want me to suffer so.

When the time comes, please, let me go.
Take me where to my needs they'll tend,
Only stay with me until the end,
And hold me firm and speak to me,
Until my eyes no longer see.
I know in time you will agree,
It is a kindness you do to me.

Although my tail it's last has waved,
From pain and suffering I have been saved,
Don't grieve that it must be you,
Who has to decide this thing you do;
We've been so close - we two - these years,
Don't let your heart hold any tears

[ruthann58]

lil nothing i can say that others have not already said you did the last act of love that you could do for him and let him go before he suffered , he will always be with you ,just out of sight , sending you a big hug ,now i need to get a tissue as reading your post has opened old wounds xxxx

[bensmum]

You did the right thing for your dog. Letting him go painlessly, quickly and with dignity was the last act of kindness you could do for a good friend. He is in no pain now, yours will last but gradually you will remember the good times you had. We have all been there and can share your pain xxxxx

[xstitcher]

Oh yes, I went through that 4 years ago and my best friend went through it 2 days ago.
You did the right thing. Our pets shouldn't suffer so that we can keep them for "one more day". They don't know what is happening and just fall asleep.
I didn't feel guilty for as much as 1 second because I trusted my vet, however that doesn't stop the horrible grief that we feel and no words can help, except I promise that it will get better, but you will never stop missing your beloved pet. Hang in there.