Parting with a friend

[twinny-15]

About 10 months ago I came on for advice about my dog..most said it was time to let him go..being selfish I held on..but i have had to let him go ..on Tuesday I said goodbye for the last time ..it was the saddest day ever..it was time, but i still feel guilty..he was blind,deaf,incontinent and had started getting snappy for no reason and in fear for my Grandaughter (18 months) I finally took him..Did I do the right thing..cos it doesn't feel like it!!

[welshlibranr]

Oh twinny I was in a similar situation neearly two years ago!...it's terrible, but I came to terms with it eventually!......took a while, but it was the right thing to do, poor little guy had come to the end, and it was so sad to see him that way, he was such a happy and clean little man, and when he was incontinent he was so upset by it!...I could tell!......so yes, you've done the right thing!....I know it's hard to deal with, but you did the best thing you could!.........

[twinny-15]

Thank you I know I did but I question my decision every day ..hopefully it will get better but I miss him so much i had him for over 15 years and he was very special to me ..x

[welshlibranr]

know how you feel twinny, I had Ollie for 13 years, the last 4 he was a diabetic, so had to be injected with insulin twice daily, he was my best friend!......I was devastated when I lost him!...questioned every day whether I should have had him put to sleep when I did, it was terrible, but now I know that I did do the right thing, he needed to have some dignanty at the end of his lovely life, and he did!....will never forget him!........

[twinny-15]

It is very hard ..thank you for your kind words I don't feel so alone now knowing someone else has gone through the same feelings I have at the moment .

[aggiela]

Awwww so sorry to read that its an awful situation to be in I've been there twice and you totally did the right thing twinny, its a hard thing to do but its the kindest...just read back the list of symptoms you've relayed to us.....I think he was snapping because he was sore and scared and you really did the kindest thing, you'll miss him of course you will thats natural but at least you had the companionship of a good dog and thats pricesless. you never know maybe a new friend will pop up in the future.....

[Sir Alec]

I found that after my Hamish became blind, he was listless and depressed. I think it contributed greatly to his demise. On his last day he was screaming in pain, which turned out to be a slipped disc. He couldn't stand up, he had thyroid problems and couldn't eat without vomiting.
I used to wonder if I'd done the right thing in having him put down. But when I think of the misery he was in, I console myself that it was just his time.
Don't think badly. If he was here now, he'd probably thank you.

[twinny-15]

Thank you all ..it helps to know that people care enough to let me know I did the right thing ..maybe now I can stop feeling guilty ..thanks to you all ..

[Maydup]

((((Hugs to you twinny)))) of course you did the right thing, its just doesn't feel like it at the moment. Don't be hard on yourself.

[masma]

Oh dear I do feel for you - I had to make that same decision last year with dear old Jetspoon. I don't think you ever stop thinking 'did I do the right thing' A year later I know it was the best thing for her. She'd had a stroke, which in some way made it easier to decide. She'd been going downhill for a long time and just wasn't happy, we too held on to her longer than we should. You did do the right thing and maybe you could do what we've done - make a little rememberance garden for your dear friend. Lots of love to you xxx

[shivvy]

Hope this might help a bit twinny:

IF IT SHOULD BE

If it should be that I grow weak
And pain should keep me from my sleep,
Then you must do what must be done,
For this last battle cannot be won.

You will be sad, I understand.
Don't let your grief then stay your hand.
For this day, more than all the rest,
Your love for me must stand the test.

We've had so many happy years.
What is to come can hold no fears.
You'd not want me to suffer so;
The time has come -- please let me go.

Take me where my need they'll tend,
And please stay with me till the end.
Hold me firm and speak to me,
Until my eyes no longer see.

I know in time that you will see
The kindness that you did for me.
Although my tail its last has waved,
From pain and suffering I've been saved.

Please do not grieve -- it must be you
Who had this painful thing to do.
We've been so close, we two, these years;
Don't let your heart hold back its tears.

--- Anonymous ---

[twinny-15]

Oh shivvy.. that is so beautiful.. sad but so true..thank you .. and thanks to all the kind replies you have all helped x

[masma]

Oh my - that's so lovely...

[rsvp]

twinny-15 - we really do understand how you feel - you did your dog a huge kindness - it was time to let him go, not easy for you but absolutely the right thing for him - and that's what having him painlessly put to sleep is all about - it's the last decent thing left to do for a pet and you did it. Chin up, it will get better x

[NOX]

I lost my scruffy old lurcher about a month or so who had grown so old I thought he might be immortal- he died of his own accord in the end but I miss him terribly and know how you feel, but day by day it does get better and you absolutely did the right thing for him.

[wendilla]

I had to have my goergous golden lab put to sleep 2 years ago and I asked myself if I had done the right thing. He had such a happy life I could not bear to see him go down hill. I still think of him lots and I feel he is still with me as he was so intelligent and knew my every move. Read this poem it will help . I turn to it now and again for comfort as I have it printed out.
http://rainbowsbridge.com/Poem.htm

[Messalina]

Yes you did absolutely the right thing for your friend. You put him & his needs ahead of your own wants. It is never an easy thing to do but it is the right thing. Remember him in his prime & remember the fun you had with him. It will get easier with time.

[icemaiden]

Yes you did do the right thing twinny-15.

By what you say, his quality of life had diminished and I guess with the snapping, he was in pain and uncomfortable.

It is always a very hard decision but I think all owners know when enough is enough. It isn't nice when you see your animals in such discomfort and pain.

"You will never get over it, but in time you will learn to except what has happened" Mamya said this to me when I lost my Dad this year. And she was right.

[andy-hughes]

The terrible fact is - your dog died because you made the decision that caused his death.

No matter how much you rationalise that - his demise is because you took action, and that is what is so hard to bear.

But, as others have confirmed, you most certainly did the right thing for him. You had the power to end his suffering, even though it commenced a time of suffering for you, so you had both aspects to deal with.

The strongest deepest love we can give our pets is to let them go when the time has come. When prolonging the inevitable is so that your loss does not have to start, but it means that his suffering has to continue. That is the tipping point, and that is when your love is at its strongest.

And if he could talk, he would thank you for doing the best for him, however painful it is for you, and for doing it because you love him too much to let him hurt any more.

So when the tide of grief ebbs a little, you can think back to what you did, and know it was right, and it was the best thing, and you loved him as much when you let him out of your life, as you did when you let him in.

In fact, because of all the joy you shared, you loved him a little bit more, and that carried you through, and will sustain your memories.

[BetteK]

Yes, you did the right thing. It showed how much you loved him myou ended his suffering.
We still have our precious Jake's ashes in a beautiful oak casket on our bookcase and the tears can still flow at the drop of a hat ... it's been just over a year ... and it took both me and my husband a very long time to come to terms with having to let Jake go.
It's just an awful, awful time and my heart goes out to you. Am thinking of you and know just what you are going through. X