RQ - I know how you feel - nothing will ever take the pain away and nothing will ever replace your best and most loyal companion. We lost our family rottie, Rosa, a few months ago, and our other one, Sabre, a few Christmas Eve's ago - I know how you feel as all I did for weeks after both, was be sick, cry my heart out and hate myself.
Our last Rottie lived with my parents, but stayed with me a lot.I couldn't believe how lonely I felt without her being there - We'd been through so much together - I bet you feel the same.
All I'll say, is that a few weeks later, I went to Pets at Home for fish food, and saw the local Dogs Trust outside holding a rehoming rally. As I tried to avoid them, due to the fact I was still heartbroken by my loss, a rottie pup came running over to me and jumped onto me. I leant over to stroke it and walk away, and she licked my face and walked with me. Needless to say, it was love at first sight, and after hearing how much she needed a new home, I brought her to mine 5 days later and she's stayed ever since.
We'd all said that no other dog would come into our homes or hearts, but she's stolen mine, and I know her Auntie Rosa is watching her, and telling her exactly how to wind me up. She even has some of her traits eventhough she has her own unique personality.
You will come to accept what has happened RQ, and the guilt will be replaced with memories of happy time you spent together, shoes and furniture chewed to bits, food stolen from worktops and shopping bags etc etc.
Its still a raw pain I feel when I see Rosa and Sabre's pictures, but I know theyre not suffering anymore, and that I helped them when they needed me most.
I really hope that the messages of support you have been given here, will make you realise that you did the kindest thing you could have, and that your baby will be looking down on you now, and wishing they were there to lick your tears. I hope