Little cat doesnt like sitting on my lap

[shivvy]

A little cat adopted us approx 3 months ago. On the first day that she arrived, without prompting, after she ate a belly full of grub, she sat on my lap and fell asleep. We think she was badly abused and maybe thrown out the window of a car. She was horribly skinny and in a bad state. However the more confident she became ie the safer she felt with us (hopefully) the less she sat on our laps and now she never seems to want to do it.
I know a bit about dogs but I have to admit with cats, I am lost! I have no idea what is going on in her head!.. She is very affectionate, she loves to get a rub (when she is on the ground) and rubs against me all the time but I cant understand why she is so reluctant to be heldand/or petted.
Any ideas?

[garner]

Hi shivvy....Oh this brings back memories..I have three cats old oldies now but let me tell you about Rastaz.15 years ago when I just had two cats , one day this black and white tom came in thecat flap he ate the other twos food then used the litter tray and he has been with us ever since.He was fine with my husband and myself and I could stroke him ect after making enquiries and contacting various cat rescue / c we decided that he could stay for good but because I had two other toms which were neutered we would do the same with Rastaz. So he was neutered .But what a change happened...was it because I took him to the vets, I do not know but his attitude to me was dramatic,he would not let me cuddle or stroke him, but he was fine with my hubby and still too this day he is still the same, whilst Im on my pc now hes giving me the dead eye lol.I love him too bits but the feelings are not returned.Its one of these cat things which we can never understand Im afraid. So you see shivvy its a question of what your cat wants to do not the other way round.They are a law unto themselves and thats what makes them so unique,,bless em.

[shivvy]

Great answers In a Pickle and Garner - they were informative but they made me giggle too! I can really picture soppy old Nettie as well as poor old garner getting the dead eye!!
All my previous experience has been with dogs and to be honest I never really liked cats however this little mite has really won me over - she is such a sweetie.
I am however looking to rehome her and have a question to ask. I will put it on this site as a seperate question but maybe you guys can give me your opinion too? A couple of people are interested in taking her (don't worry - I have questioned and vetted them well) but both of them have other cats. I have only ever seen her with one other cat and they fought so what do I need to consider about placing her in a family with other cats? Is whether they have been spayed/neutered relevant? Is she better placed with other females or males? What else do I need to consider?
Thanks again to you both.

[perigra]

i'll take it for ya!!!

[shivvy]

Gravitate -
1) I don't consider her 'a problem' ( I also don't consider her an 'it')
2) I think I have been very patient considering the fact that she arrived over 2 months ago in a terrible state and I have spend all of that time getting her back to full health
3) I may not have a wealth of knowledge about cats but what i know for sure is that she has a happier life with me than she would have in a shelter.
4) No, your post did not help.

[ruthiebabie]

I think its just part and parcel of the game of being owned by a cat!

I got a swipe at my foot this morning purely because my Missy felt like it! She acts most of the time like she despises me apart from at meal times.My husband on the other hand can do no wrong and I'm convinced she thinks he's hers. She'll happily sleep all night on his chest but wouldn't entertain it with me.

However she's a character and thats what makes her what she is. I still persevere with picking her her up and fussing her.

I'd just give it time - she might never be a lap cat but she picked you to be her owner so accept that honour as cats are very choosy!