BiddyGrotto

[Robinia]

It seems we're not getting any changes on AB 'til after xmas so I've set up a grotto for us. Sorry it's a bit like a scene from Great Expectations but I've sprayed a few cobwebs silver & blown the dust off me doileys so please come in & sit down.
What do all the biddies/grumps want to find in their wrinkly stockings this year then? Do you like all this festivity or will you be the grumpy gran/grandpa from hell this year?
Please feel free to take a present out of the bran tub as you leave by the way. Contents may be unidentifiable....oops sorry...be varied.

[VINNY100_2]

Morning netti...um...smells nice round these parts..must be od..de..oxo..!..just been in me local shop for a jar of coffee...blimey its a big..spanish jar of nescafe...only �1.59...must have fell of a back of a donkey......!anyways im off to do me last bit of xmas shopping...there's so many sales on ...im bound to pick up a bargain...He..He...( :)

[Robinia]

sniff, sniff..........wow!!!! I just love that aftershave......Who's gonna be the lucky one then??......rips off rubber buttons on libby bodice with wild abandon.....

I'm having a panic attack here, please explain Vinny about jno, (bit busy today & haven't got time for doing a Miss Marple) - not been advertising the Grotto I hope.....ooooh heads will roll!!!!!

[Robinia]

Oops, just remembered about your teeth jno - sorry, do hope you're ok.
.... But if you've been very naughty something will have to roll.......

[netibiza]

http://www.theanswerbank.co.uk/News/Question180630.html

think this is the thread Robinia hope the hoards don't invade.

[Robinia]

Gasp....anyone got any smelling salts?????????!!!!!!!!!!!

I think we're gonna need a joiner. No second thoughts, if you want a job done properly do it yourself. Now where's me tool kit??? Ooooooh never mind you'd be amazed what I can do with a tater knife & a heavy candlestick.....

[netibiza]

What are you on about Robinia have you been sniffing the mothballs again???

[gessoo]

He, he - If we ask nicely, perhaps Ed would let us take refuge in another section about 40 pages in!!!!!

Now off to delivery a Christmas card to a good friend before starting on that damn housework again. Also, I must get that pile of ironing done that I hid so successfully. Just lighting the woodburner so that I can warm up my heavy old iron! As you can see I had to read the instructions to use an electric iron and just couldn't work it out -

How does this new-fangled thing work?

[Robinia]

Mornin' gessoo - if you don't need that ironing board we'll use it as part of the barricades.

neti - you're not being much help - I'm trying to board up the door what did you think I was on about?! Now don't just stand there, lets get this nail in quick - when I nod my head you hit it.....

[netibiza]

smashes Robinis on the head - is that what you meant?? Gessoo that reminds me of my dad who was a master tailor and always used flat irons, but one day we gave him a morphy richards electric one, he cut of the flex and heated it on the fire, honestly - it didn't last too long, but he prefer it that way, obviously it wasn't as heavy as the flat irons.

[netibiza]

err ahem who is Robinis????

[netibiza]

ooh forgot I'm off to ther dentist -so will see ya all later!!!

[Robinia]

THUD!

Thanks a lot. This place was supposed to be a peaceful haven. What with getting locked in the Loo, Pickle's pics, Vinny's aftershave putting me hormones in overdrive, & now the threat of invasion by the One-Line-Wonders I'm a nervous old wreck.

Well I'm off for me therapy now. So please behave & don't forget it's back to using gessoo's tunnel.
I'll be back!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

...how do ya get out of here???.....

[gessoo]

Oh dear, just popped back to find Robinia in a right state, muttering rather rude (actually very rude words) about Netti.

Robinia

and Netty is digging a moat to protect us:

Moat

Whilst singing that very lovely song which reigns at the top of the hit parade this week (Look it up if you don't know what I mean!!)

[netibiza]

I've got a tenner in my pocket and a tena in my knickers he he

[gessoo]

Why did you start all this Robinia - I should be making my house look spick and span!! Some hopes..........

[woofgang]

Morning folks, sad to say my fridge is smelling again.....oh no its Vinny (shuffles feet) sorry Vin, if its any help, I've got some Milton left, it did wonders for my fridge!!

morning jno, hope the teeth are better today its misery being below par at Christmas.

Just been struggling round the supermarket getting beer for Mr W. I got the last three packets of lametta in Morrisons, its getting harder to get, anybody remember the old heavy metal kind that really used to hang on the tree?

(sigh) oh well better go and put the stuff away before the dog trips over it, see youse later

[AB Editor]

Hi Biddies

Just wanted to drop in for a quick one - hope you don't mind, love what you've done with the place by the way! But is Vinny supposed to be shaking all the pressies like that? the monks held their christmas do last night and i'm feeling a bit rough, so I just may hide out in the corner over there, if you don't mind. Sorry about tipping over the bran tup on the way in!

I just want to send you all my sincerest Christmas wishes and hope you all have a wonderful holiday. Thank you very much for all the contributions you have made to the ole AB this year - it would not be as fun without you!

Bong Bing

[gessoo]

Oh Ed, how nice to see you and thanks for your kind words. I sincerely hope you have a really good Christmas and wish you a Happy New Year. Don't forget to take plenty of rest to build you up for the CB rebellions!!!

I am sure that the boss, Robinia, will agree that you are very welcome to drop in to our Grotto at any time. Hopefully it will still be our place of refuge for a long time to come.

xxxx

[gessoo]

Woofgang, that old Lametta was really wonderful. I took it off the tree and used it year after year until it really did get well past it's best. The new stuff is useless. Talking of beer, we have a real ale shop just a few miles away on one of the farms. It only sells ale made by breweries who use local hops and barley. My son insists that we go shopping there later on!!!! Another hole in my purse!

[jno]

yes merry Christmas to all from JNO Enterprises from its head offices in Liberia. Here is your
Christmas card which I think is rather pretty.

Woofgang - I'm now on antibiotics to clear up an infection before big time dental surgery (destruction of crown, root canal, new crown), so I've got nowt to look forward to except a non-alcoholic Christmas and some pain. Huh. And what makes it worse is that exactly the same thing happened last Christmas. Different tooth but same dentist - who thinks it's hilarious. I tried biting her but it hurt me more than it hurt her.