Courtesy

[Didwot]

I have recently had the answer I gave to a question derided as "weird", and "nonsense" and been accused of "seriously misleading" the questioner. Another has had thier answer to the same question decribed as "rubbish". If I were talking in a bar and someone came over and used such comments I hope I would show sufficient self restraint to simply walk out, and that is what I am going to do. This is the last time I shall be posting to AB. My point is why do users not read, let alone follow, this sites terms of use. which include the statetment that when disagreeing "do so respectfully. Name calling, harassement or abuse will not be tolerated". Why do people using an on line site think that they do not have to show any courtesy to one another?

[Bangkok]

Don't know what happened here as I have not seen the relevent post, but it is very sad that an excellent contributor has been driven away. 

[Flanker8]

Interestingly, and ironically from my experience it is those contributors that display a liberal bent that get shirty when they don't agree with somebody.

[Flanker8]

Should be a comma after ironically.

[AB Editor]

Didwot - we'll be sorry to lose you.

I apologise for the abuse you receive from a minority of users not mature enough to refrain from name-calling. And I can assure you that I work hard to ban such offensive posts.

If you reconsider your choice, we will be glad to have you back.

All the best,

[Hgrove]

Didwot, I found our exchanges interesting and instructive;  I am grateful to you for explaining about contract and trust.  I know the thread you are referring to, and believe me, I have been at the receiving end of far worse abuse here.  (Subsequently I changed my user name, not because of that abuse, but because there had been an instance, unrelated to me, of someone identifying someone else, and I became concerned about my privacy.)  Coming back to us, you and I know what we are talking about.  It should not come as a surprise that laypeople do not understand Equity - it is not the easiest of subjects!  It is the Editor's job to moderate and if necessary give warnings to posters who abuse the site.  I am in the same position as you, an outsider, but from where I stand I am fairly sure that he does all of those things, if not always to the full extend we'd like, probably owing to his workload and inevitably his own judgment.    I hope you will reconsider and perhaps, come back after a break, as it would be a shame if the lack of knowledge and rudeness of a minority were to drive away a valued and valuable contributor.

[woofgang]

Flanker8 I have noticed that too, strange isn't it?

[smudge]

Didwot - I do sympathise with you. Some time back when I was getting loads of flak from a total waster on here, I felt like leaving the site & never returning. AB Ed suggested I change my user name, but I thought to myself - 'Why should I do that, or leave?'. I stuck it out & the waster eventually got banned from the site. He or she may well be back using another name, but who cares! Have another think - why should you leave?

[Dark Angel]

Yes, Didwot why should you leave? Some people just haven't been taught good manners at home, or how to treat others with respect - there are people like that out there, so we have to accept it, but not let these people prevent us from doing what we want to do. I would continue if I were you, and suddenly you will find that the rude person has been banned from this site. 

[ewand]

Didwot, from my experience with you on here, you have been a valued contributer and someone who has supplied useful, and interesting advice to various visitors to the site.  However, to use your analogy further, if the incident had happened in a bar, i'd imagine that wouldn't put you off going to the bar again, and I would hope (if you're a man/woman after my own heart) wouldn't be put off going to pubs again!  After all, I get some satisifaction from helping, and i'm sure you do too.

 

So don't stop because of the minority, your opinion is very important here.

[Hgrove]

Mind you Didwot, I feel exactly as you, having had one of my answers described as meaningless gobbledegook by someone (guess who) who has never heard of a trust for sale, as abolished by ToLATA!

[tigga]

AB Editor, i think from the tone of the above (or below) answers, that maybe you could send Didwot an email with a link to this thread as i agree with fellow ab'ers on this- Didwot shouldnt feel forced to leave. But at the moment it looks like he/she has which is very unfortunate, maybe if they see how many of us are respectful and do appreciate good input, they may give it another go ?. 

[FP]

Didwot  Please don't leave the site.  The offensive answers are very similar in style to many others that have been posted on this site, mainly in the money and finance and home sections, and which have also caused offence.  They were from a user that has been banned and returned under many guises.  This person referred to one of my answers as 'tripe' and 'rubbish'.  This person's advice is not always as accurate as they claim. 

[Hgrove]

You know, Fakeplastic, I have been wondering the same;  I can't make up my mind though.  It is true the style of insults is very similar.  But on the other hand, the original member was word perfect on the legal side of things, whilst she did not appear interested in equitable issues.  Whereas the member currently posting offensive messages displays a profound ignorance of both law and equity.  I have to say I am getting very disappointed with the Editor.  He has written that he works hard to ban offensive posts (see above) but actually, a number of offensive posts by this user have been allowed to stand.

[Hgrove]

By the way, the "gobbledegook" answer has gone, and if this is due to Editor action, thank you Editor for your help.  The answer which described my post as total and utter nonsense seemed to disappear and reappear very quickly.  Very peculiar indeed.  I think I am going to take a little holiday over Christmas.  The thing is, I contribute in good faith to the best of my ability, but the game is just not worth the candle if another user starts a vendetta against you and you do not feel sufficiently supported by the Editor.  This is not to say you do nothing Editor, you obviously have deleted some of the offensive messages... it's just that there are so many and they are growing like mushrooms!

[Didwot]

Read the "Mortgage dilemna" thread, and am definitley going to keep my head below the parapet.

[smudge]

Hgrove & Didwot, I have just read that thread & have posted my sentiments to the person you are referring to. How rude!

[Hgrove]

A word of warning Smudge... the name similarity may be intentional - think second bite at the cherry...

[FP]

Hgrove.  I think it well may be the same person.  The person concerned appeared to be very knowledgeable but some of the legal answers posted were in fact inaccurate and out of date when I researched them. 

 

Smudge.  Take Care. 

[smudge]

Hgrove - Thank you for the warning - that did cross my mind - sad eh?

FP - Glad to see you've returned - you take care too.