Poor Sentence (Again)?

ilovemarkb | 11:41 Sat 29th Dec 2012 | Arts & Literature

37 Answers

With regards to patient B the plan of care was to act upon her low body temperature and set about returning it to normal as per NICE guidelines.

does this make sense? been pondering over it for 30 minutes now?

Poor Sentence?

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boxtops

you need a comma after "normal", please.

Psybbo

To be or not to be, that is the question.....

DTCwordfan

Personally, I would also insert a comma before the "as per the NICE guidelines"

so:

"With regards to patient B, the plan of care was to act upon her low body temperature and to set about returning it to normal, as per the NICE guidelines."

boxtops

^ agree with DT (that's what I'd write)

DTCwordfan

"To be or not to be, or even could be, that is the question....."

aelmpvw

I hope patient B gets better.

ilovemarkb

Question Author

perfect!! that will do for me!!! 1864 word done!! just another 2136 to go!! whey hey !!

boxtops

well done ILB, when's your submission date?

ilovemarkb

Question Author

21st January x

jno

just "with regard to", I think. Regards are what you sign off an email with, like Cheers.

ilovemarkb

Question Author

what would you replace it with JNO

slaney

Agree with jno - that's why I omitted it in my suggestion - see previous page.

ilovemarkb

Question Author

ok guys! Thanks once again x

jno

sorry, I just meant write "regard", singular, rather than "regards". But as slaney suggested, you could do without it, just put Patient B into the sentence elsewhere.

abstibus

ilmb
Did you remember to give NICE its full title when you first referred to it? For example, you could write The National Institute for Health and Clinical Excellence (NICE) Or NICE (The National Institute for Heath and Clinical Excellence). Only then then can you continue to use the acronym.
It might also strengthen your work if you could include the year the current guidelines were published.

ilovemarkb

Question Author

yes i did annemollie!! thankyou x

Peter Pedant

.

is it clear ?

Yes - B was cold and they wanted to warm her up using NICE guidelines.

a bit wordy tho

technical report writing is specialised
but writing like Dickens may also not be wanted

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