Am I Using The Word 'vellum' Properly In This Poem?

[bob68k]

Does the usage of this word make sense in this opening stanza (vellum)
taking in account the poetic license? Thanks for the advice folks.


'Give me the night;
a canvas of stars
tattooed to the vellum of sky,
I need what is nocturnal born in me'

[FredPuli43]

How do you tattoo vellum? Vellum is skin, usually doe skin, which has been treated to make it a kind of leather. It is very thin and was used as paper would be now, for the writing of important documents such as Royal Proclamations.
The image is a bit odd.

[RATTER15]

It sounds good to me.

However I am very Dyslexic, anything sounds good to me.

[DTCwordfan]

the vellum is the canvas......

'Give me the night;
plethora of stars (or umbrella?)
tattooed to the canvas of sky,
I need what is nocturnal born in me'

[Tilly2]

You already have a 'canvas' of stars, so your stars have a background, i.e. the canvas. You are then tattooing that canvas to another background 'The vellum of sky' so it doesn't really work.

It might be better to use a really good adjective to describe the sky, if you want to keep it as it is.

[sandyRoe]

A via lactia
splashed on the vellum of...

[RATTER15]

See, I told you!

[DTCwordfan]

a via lactia is novel.....we have a Latino amongst us....

[Khandro]

Vellum is very pale yellow in colour and conjures up for me at least, nothing to do with the night sky, also 'tattoo' is a strong image-producing word, (of arms and bodies) Sandy's 'splashed' or splattered/ scattered sounds better to me, and words like dark, darkness, firmament, empyrean, heavens, blues, deep monastral, blacks, come to mind. I hope this helps.

[Anngel]

That which is noctornal might sound better. You need something black or navy blue for your stars.....vellum is yellow.

[woofgang]

In modern usage, vellum is also a semi transparent kind of paper.
http://www.papercrafter.co.uk/vellum-papers--parchments-11-c.asp

[boxtops]

I understand what you mean, sky appearing sometimes (in theory) dark and soft and silky (textured like vellum, if not the colour). but "a canvas of stars" indicates a heavy fabric. How about "a skein of stars"? - - skein being threads - or a net of stars?

[murraymints]

I wrote the parchment for her Maj on vellum...great seal of Scotland. ...ribbons and gold....was her majs scribe up here back in the day

[boxtops]

wow murray, that is some claim to fame!

[murraymints]

I know boxy..no end to my talents....some of my parchment were on display in Hollywood palace...I took some visitors to the palace once and the guide was explaining what they were and did anyone know about the seal etc....I piped well...actually it was me wot wrote them !the other tourists almost bowed to me !! Lol

[murraymints]

Holyrood...my predictive thingy obviously wants to put me in films ! Lol

[DTCwordfan]

any chance of posting a photo(s) of them on here, minty?

[DTCwordfan]

or your calligraphy at large?

[FredPuli43]

All right, how do you tattoo a canvas to anything ? It's a confused image, one piece of fabric "tattooed" (itself an inappropriate word;it gives the wrong impression, it does not mean fix, and we say that design is tattoed on, not 'to') to another.

If you want to see how words, apparently misused or mis-formed, make effective images, read Under Milk Wood

[Khandro]

mm; Deeply impressed! I do a lot of my drawings and paintings on a stretched substitute vellum paper, it has a very strong surface and will take a lot of wellie. I understand that on real vellum though if an accident or a mistake is made, the ink, when dry, can be scraped from the surface without trace, is that so?

[sandyRoe]

There's a word, 'palimpsest', which describes a piece of vellum, or parchment, thats been scraped clean to be used again