I am going to try and write a short crime novel and i have a first line i think may entice the browser to read on. The line is "I was down the wrong end of the bath when I felt a cold tap on my shoulder"
It is very important and I'm not sure about the line you have. For a start, it's not the best English I've read - try "sitting at the wrong end of the bath" rather than "down the wrong end of the bath". Also, unless it's a deliberate attempt at humour, the 'cold tap' reference is a bit cliched.