Ovarian Cancer

[granny grump]

A dear dear friend has beeen diagnosed with ovarian cancer and has been told that it has spread to her liver. She has seen the doctor quite a few times over the last 12 - 18 months and has been treated for digestive problems and suspected hiatus hernia. As you can imagine we are all devastated - is there any thing that anyone with any knowledge or experience of this dreadful illness can suggest that we can do to help her

[Sqad]

I am not sure what you mean by "help her"........if she is seen by an Oncologist and assessed, then there is little more than one can do. she has less than a 20% chance of living for 5 years.

The symptoms of ovarian cancer are so non specific that her doctor treating her for a supposed digestive illness is all too common.

This is truly a devastating diagnosis.

These are the hard facts, but if you are looking for a more emotional direction for support, then i am poorly qualified to advice.

[bellazella]

Sorry to hear that granny

[gness]

Granny. Five years ago I was in your position with my closest friend, who, like your friend took a long time to get a diagnosis. It is one bitch of a disease.
No-one can tell you what to do to help. This will depend on your friend but I can only tell you how we coped. We cried together, but more often we laughed together. We chose crazy wigs. We shared wine. We curled up on the sofa making plans into the early hours.....with more wine. I recall one night we sat by the fire for hours taking it in turns to say "Oh Feck." When J was well we went on trips and when she was exhausted we let her sleep. She called the shots. You know your friend so you will know what she needs. But look after yourself too. It knocked me for six.

[cathfromsaron]

sending love! all your love support is what she needs!

[Kiki-frog]

Granny G, I'm with Cath on this one. All you can do is love her and support her. What about creating a photo album or scrapbook full of mementos of happy times you've spent together. Or if that's not appropriate, a collection of 'funnies' to make her laugh - AB's jokes page could be a starting point. If she's ok to do so, maybe share a bottle of wine, box of chocs whatever, and have a good old reminisce and giggle together. And if you can get a few more mutual friends to join in, then so much the better. She's got a lot of grim stuff going on around her, so maybe a fun time with close friends could help raise her spirits.

[ilovemarkb]

We were shown this clip at uni which is a light hearted way of explaining the stages that your friend may feel now and in the coming months. There is a little bit of swearing in it xxx
I also agree with gness, however some people just like normality xx

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oBvozWsdu5c

[rowanwitch]

I think you will have to look at a lot of posts to top Gness's answer

[coccinelle]

They may be able to operate to remove the metastases on the liver. This is what my friend is having done today at this very moment....

[granny grump]

Thank you all so much for your posts I guess I did now what I need to do. We don't live close but we had already arranged to go and visit them over Easter before we knew about this - We will - obviously - still go and do our best to comfort her.

Thank you for the You tube clip ilovemarkb

My thoughts are with you and your friend coccinelle and hopefully she will benefit from the operation - please keep in touch

[coccinelle]

Operation has been a success so she's now recovering. Just have to keep fingers crossed that another metastase doesn't pop up. She had 5 removed last year and a large one last week.

[granny grump]

Thank you coccinelle my fingers are crossed as well for your friend. My friend went for a scan and a biopsy on Friday and has to wait until today when all the doctors involved have a meeting - it just seems like a long wait in between all the tests

[granny grump]

My friend started chemo on Tuesday and is feeling very low. We will be with them next week and I want to take her something special other than flowers. Can anyone who may know how she is feeling suggest what I can take her?

[boxtops]

gran, I'm so sorry - I lost a dear best mate to ovarian cancer a few years back, and like your friend, she had no idea until it was too late.

Being there is the best thing - just being normal, still being her friend and doing things for her that she won't feel able to do - the odd magazine, a bit of shopping, buying her personal stuff (ladies' things) that she might not like others to do, or might not have the strength to think about.

We talked about holidays we'd been on, the good times we'd had - trying not to dwell on the obvious, but not denying it either, since it'll be at the forefront of her mind. Go out in the sunshine, listen to the birdsong which is lovely at the moment. Small things matter such a lot at this time.

Hugs and good thoughts to you and your friend ((♥))

[Lillymoon]

Have you got a nice photo of you both together having a great time? Dayout, something silly or funny?

Frame it and remember some great moments together.

My thoughts are with you and your friend xx

[gness]

Granny. For my first visit to J after her diagnosis I made a little wicker hamper. Audio stories [short and easy to listen to] ; scented candles; foot massage cream ; choc and wine of course. She loved jigsaws so one went in. You may be able to think of a selection of things your friend would like and to be honest opening lots of little gifts gave us something else to talk about for a while.

[granny grump]

Thank you for all those lovely suggestions. I will make up a small hamper to take with us

[gness]

Glad we could all help Granny. Will be thinking of you and your friend. Give her our love.

[granny grump]

I will do gness - thank you

[mrs_overall]

When a long standing friend was diagnosed with cancer, I made her a photo album of all the dud photos I had.
I started on the first page with a long letter describing her attributes and what a wonderful person she was, and finished with the words "and she is also..."
(1st photo) a wonderful mother (to accompany a pic of her holding a screaming toddler
(2nd photo) photogenic (to accompany a pic where I'd cut her head off)
(3rd phot) a wonderful sportswoman (to accompany a pic of her falling off a windsurfing board)
I hope you get the idea!
She is in recovery now but we still open this album over a bottle of wine and giggle ourselves silly

[gness]

I like that MrsO. Will store in memory for future use. Could be used in lots of situations.