Hello Connemmara
I'm happy to give you general advice, but I obviously cannot advise you on a specific treatment plan online.
The main priority of any dental treatment is to alleviate pain foremost, and then to establish health, function and aesthetics.
All dental treatment should be painless. Local anaesthetics (LA) are very safe and effective and are suitable for virtually all treaments, but in some instances a patient may also benefit from oral, inhalational or intravenous sedation. A general anaesthetic should only be used if the procedure or patient is not suitable for treatment under LA. Your dentist is the best person to advise you on this.
Some dental treatment will involve post-operative pain, discomfort and swelling as the body heals from the surgery (as with all types of surgery), and this would be explained to you before treatment.
You need to be fully informed of the treatment plan suggested, along wih the risks/benefits, possible complications, alternative treatments, the outcome of carrying out no treatment, along with costs and time-scales so that you can give 'informed consent' to the treatment
You can always obtain a second opinion from another dentist either in general or specialist practice, or be referred to a dental teaching hospital for a specialist opinion. A teaching hospital then may, or not, be able to accept you for treatment.
I realise that this is not specific advice, but hope it helps. I would go back to your dentist for another consultation and discuss your options again.