Depression And Anxiety ++

[dispenser]

My partner is suffering from depression with a huge dollop of anxiety thrown in. He's under the doctor and has 6 weekly checks and his medication has been changed but he's still struggling. A psychiatrist said he needed CBT but the therapist was useless. Has anyone out there beaten depression and if so how did you do it? Just to say he does eat healthy food, exercises, doing yoga currently and has been suggested he try marine fish oils with a high EPA content. Thank you to anyone who can suggest other tried and tested treatment. Many thanks

[emmie]

long term counselling, short courses don't work. but if i am honest anxiety, depression can be life long, and not overcome with the best will in the world, exercise, healthy eating all will help, however perhaps his medication needs to be changed again, better suited, higher doses, sometimes it takes an age to get it right. The crux of the matter is what happened to him over time to make him this way, short courses don't help, generally longer term the better and one to one not group counselling.

[emmie]

biggest problem is getting the help, and a counsellor, therapist who is right for him, not all will be. Six weekly checks may not be sufficient either, perhaps have a word with the doctor about it, a weekly consultation would be more appropriate in his case - i have a fair bit of experience on this, not sure what other things to suggest, getting any kind of mental health help if you are in UK is like pulling teeth..

[pixie373]

What medication has he been given, what dosage and when did he start on it? Exercise can be helpful, but it is something that needs a little more than that, by the sound of it. I had depression and anxiety quite badly for a few months. I was given antidepressants, which helped me continue as normal (a crutch, really), until i was able to gradually lower them and eventually stopped.
What is he doing or not doing, that the CBT is supposed to change?

[pixie373]

I agree with emmie- it's usually more a case of keeping it under control long-term, than "beating it".

[andy-hughes]

As advised, depression is something to be assimilated, as it may be a long term, even lifelong condition.

One of the first things the patient, and family, need to do it to accept the condition correctly - it is an illness, and will respond to medication.

Depression responds to antidepressants in the same way that diabetes responds to insulin - it's important for everyone involved - especially the patient - to adopt that mindset.

Another vital factor is to remind the patient at regular intervals, that he will get his personality back. It has not disappeared, it is a little out of focus, like binoculars, and the correct adjustment will bring it back.

Medication takes at least three weeks to settle, so working out if the change is a correct one may take some time. It really is trail and error because medication that perfectly suits one can have horrible effects on another, so tell him to hang on while things settle down.

As far as exercise and diet, his healthy regime will certainly help, but on the days when he is lethargic, or feels like junk food, accept it, and go with it - no-one is waiting with a gold medal because he eats his five-a-day every single day.

The way to deal with depression is to enjoy the average and good days, and ride out the bad days. It's not like a broken bone, you don't make continual forward progress from accident to healed. The process can feel like one step forward, one hundred steps back, but it's not a compeition, no-one is keeping score, make sure you don't either.

Your partner will have days when he utterly hates himself, and will feel totally unowrthy of your love and affection. On these days, he will put quite a lof of effort into making you hate him as much as he hates himself, which will make him nasty, spiteful, morose, withdrawn, and generally difficult to live with.

Ride it out - he does not mean the things he says, it is his illness, and it will pass.

With love and support of you and his family, he will get past this horrible time, and learn to pick up his life again.

Nietzsche said that what does not kill us makes us strong - this is what he was talking about.

[dispenser]

Thank you everyone for your advice. I have taken on board your thoughts and will apply the ones I think are most appropriate. First and foremost I think is counselling so he has someone to talk things through with, secondly to continue to show him support. Thank you again