First signs dementia

[tamirra]

Hi, over the last few months ive noticed my 67 yr old mum repeating herself on numerous occasions about the same thing, it happens quite often and im sure you cant forget youve already told someone something in such a short space of time, or can you? i was just wondering could it possibly be anything to do with the 1st signs of dementia, i know absoloutly nothing about the illness so excuse me if im barking up the wrong tree. Thank you and any help appreciated. Thank you again.

[woofgang]

It can be a sign of loneliness or stress as well as dementia. Are you perhaps noticing it more because you are seeing her less or you are stressed and therefore more sensitive yourself? Does she know she's doing it? I repeat myself all the time and have done for the past 20 years or so (I am mid 50's) I know I do it more when stressed...DH just laughs and puts up with it. I know that I am not dementing, I spent most of my working life assessing people who were.
Are there any other signs? strange things happening that she denies, a real need for unbreakable routine, angry outbursts if she thinks you are checking on her/watching her?
sometimes people repeat themselves if they don't feel listened to or understood, try commenting on her repeated comment and see if that helps, eg if she says three times that she needs to buy milk, make some comment about it being cheaper ar Asda or that everyone you know drinks skimmed these days, anything to make her feel that she has been heard and valued.
Lastly can you talk to her about it in a tactful non scarey way?

[tamirra]

Answer to last question, no you cant talk to her in kind of way, i know her hearing isnt as good as it used to be, but she says she can hear a pin drop, i can be out shopping with her and be standing only a few feet away, and will ask her something and she wont hear me, but i cant tell her. She isnt lonely, she can be depressed sometimes, but cant we all, things have happened in the passed that she has caused, big family rows that she denies having anything to do with it, but its been her fault that they have happened, but she wont have any of it, she hears things that people just haven`t said, she had a huge row with myself and husband about something she claims she heard him say, i was there and i know damn well he said nothing of the sort, but they fell out for ages over it, does it sound "normal" or just an everyday occurance to some people, im confussed. Help please. Thank you.

[woofgang]

umm it sounds like your Mum does have a problem but maybe not dementia.
too complex for me to comment on here. What does your dad say?
If she has a problem with a physical cause, then the next step would be a proper assessment...has she ever had her hearing assessed?

[tamirra]

Ive not mentioned it to my father, as he has his own problems, she hasn`t had a hearing test done as she thinks her hearing is spot on, very delicate situation i know, what do you think the problem could be?? Thank you

[ladyalex]

I think a hearing test is in order too, but it sounds as though you'll have a bit of a job on getting her to take it.
However, just in case, did you know that the RNID do one on the internet. If you go to their site, you can take the test immediately for free. It tells you whether your hearing is as it should be for your age, below par or if you should really have a proper test done. It's very easy to do, maybe you could get her to give it a try?
Here's the link:
http://www.rnid.org.u...g_check/?from=/check/

Good Luck

[woofgang]

With very very great respect, she is an adult person. If she doesn't want her hearing tested then even though she sounds like she causes loads of trouble in the family, you may have to put up with it....sorry

[DEN53]

Hi Tamirra - my Mum has vascular dementia - and to be honest, the first signs were not her forgetting things or repeating herself. Though dementia can present different symptons in people. Try and get you Mum in to see her GP for a check up.

[tamirra]

den you cant get my mum to do anything she dosnt want to do, she is the most stubbon person i know, i think its best to keep an eye on her and see how it goes. Thank you. xx

[woofgang]

ha tamirra you don't know me..I think you are right, whatever the problem, it won't be made better by stirring your `mum up to no good end

[maplestar]

I agree with the above.. my nan has vascular dementia and even though it has advanced very quickly in the past year, looking back I think she had it at least 5 or 6 years ago... She had a hearing test and even hearing aid - which she never wore as she said things sounded odd through it and turned out her hearing was fine but she just couldn't comprehend what people were saying etc - earlier on she just shrugged it off as us not talking properly or that there was too much other sound...

I agree though, dementia is not all about forgetting things. However, I am unsure about how you go about getting somebody diagnosed if they are unwilling... I suppose at the moment she is no harm to herself or others so it is not such an issue, but from personal and professional experience, routine is very beneficial in early stages and later on - if it is dementia. Encourage her to keep active and independent for as long as possible. Despite her rift-causing, try and enjoy your mother - she is considerably young, however IF it is dementia, it can take hold very rapidly. Enjoy your mum, good luck. Sorry this hasn't been much help!