How can I get back to normal?

[JayneSmi]

I work full time and am finding it more and more difficult to cope. I changed jobs about 3 years ago and have found it increasingly difficult to perform to my normal standard. I suffered from depression due to bereavement and drank too much alcohol over a period of time which didn't help but at the time it was my way of coping. I had a couple of counselling sessions which helped at the time and attended anxiety/stress management courses. Recently I've been having panic attacks, am at the brink of tears at the most stupid thing and feel dreadful. My job is quite high pressured and I've been putting off jobs/tasks and fallen some way behind on deadlines and have even feigned illness to avoid meetings. I called in for a sick day this morning. I know I'm sticking my head in the sand and I know I should speak to someone but colleagues are not very sympathetic towards people who suffer from stress. I spoke to a locum doctor 3 weeks ago who prescribed paroxatine. I hate taking tablets, I'm worrying myself sick all of the time and it's affecting my relationships. I have steered away from drinking alcohol but I really feel like opening the vodka and blotting everything out but know it's all going to still be there in the morning.

[squarebear]

I would suggest a less stressful job.

[JayneSmi]

Jobs are in short supply at the moment.

[rowanwitch]

Go to see your regular GP, you might need to take the pills to stop becoming more depressed and help you hold it together for a while but ask for a referral for proper counselling...and when you feel a bit more in control look for another job...but tell your line manger you are finding it difficult to cope as it might be you genuinely have too much work to fit into a working week and your workload needs to be reviewed

If you have suffered from depression and anxiety for some time it would also be worth investigating your rights under the disability discrimination act as you may be able to access extra support from your local disability employment advisor especially in terms of things like training if that would help or in finding other work that you might be able to cope with better, Contact them via Job centre plus.

[JayneSmi]

I cant speak to my manager as she's not very sympathetic towards people suffering from stress. If I'm honest the works not overly difficult but I'm out of my comfort zone and am making lots of mistakes. Training is not an option as there's no money for courses/consultancy. I used to do a very different job and was really good at it but due to reorganisation my position went to another part of the country and I was moved to this position which was not by my choice. I'm not sleeping and not eating properly and look for excuses to go in late and leave early. I hate feeling this way and know I'm being silly.

[rowanwitch]

There is funding available for people with disabilities to enable them to remain in work , workplace stress is also an industrial injury and your employer has the same duty of care regarding this as any other risk of accident or harm. So unsympathetic or not they should take reasonable action. from what you have posted it may be you have not been properly trained and supported in your new job....ACAS have a good leaflet on the subject as do the union Unison ....

[cazzz1975]

first you have to start getting your body functioning normally, start eating properly, stop drinking alcohol. take the tablets that have been prescribed, if you are worried about them see your GP.

dont get into a vicious cycle of drinking to blot out problems, the alcohol does more harm than good. start looking after yourself physically first.

[JayneSmi]

My boss will flip and that will make me feel worse. I'm not a member of a trades union so can I still get support from ACAS/Unison? I know that alcohol is not the answer and I know that I should get myself back into shape but I go into this panic and can't think straight. I just want to go to bed, pull the covers over my head and sleep.

[JayneSmi]

ok. you're gving good advice and I am grateful. I've always been seen as a strong person/character who is always cool calm and collected and lets nothing faze me but recently I am churning up inside. Fight or flight kicks in with the panic and I want to flee.Not only do I want to flee it's what I have done and I know it's a vicious circle.

I'm not going to resort to the alcohol and in fact I've poured the vodka down the sink now. I don't have a regular GP as I'm usually fit and healthy however I'm going to ring the Surgery now and make an appointment.

[ladyalex]

Well done for pouring away the alcohol and getting an appointment with your GP.
It sounds to me as though you need a bit of time off work as well as some tablets and probably some counselling.
If your GP suggests taking some sick time, I think you would be well advised to accept it.
If you think that your problems are still related to your bereavement, do you have a local branch of Cruse ?
They offer very good counselling in bereavement and, as far as I know , their services are free. Have a look here.
www.crusebereavementcare.org.uk/
All the very best to you. You WILL get through this.

[bednobs]

Hi, although i am the last person to advise on this, you need to realise that your health should be your priority, and not just realise, but make it so. Work will go on without you, and while money is important it doesn't mean anything without your health. I have recently been through some trauma and a big bereavement when my daughter died, and it has really made me realise that while work has always seemed very important to me, i really really don't care about it now, and they are managing quite well without me!
My advice would be to take some time off sick now - not just a day, but ask the GP to sign you off for a period (perhaps 2 weeks?) while you start to sort a few things out

[phoenixart]

I know exactly how you feel, i have been there and found it more and more difficult to cope with everyday tasks. I have been given Paraoxitine and thats the only thing which has helped me from stop crying . I have given up my full time job due to depression , but now working from home and rest everyday even if it is for half an hour . please dont give up taking medication , counselling never helped alone without medication . Try going out in fresh air , get self help books from library , make friends ,join a group of people who had similar problems of stress and burn outs.I am lucky that i find my creative side and joined painting class which is therapeutic , find something you love to do like creative art, music or whatever you enjoy. i am always here to help feel free to email me. best wishes