One for the ladies

[Andy008]

I don't wan't to sound arrogant asking this. Last year, one of my flatmates pulled a stunning girl in a club, who was on his uni course. He took her out for a drink, shagged her a couple of times, and eventually dumped her as she wanted a relationship and he didn't. Since then, I've seen her about 20 times around town, and she's often looked at me with long, lingering, glances. I've only spoken to her twice, very briefly. I'm couldn't believe he gave he gave her the push, as it was defintely his loss. I really am confident I stand a good chance with her, and I've thought critically before reaching that conclusion. What should I do next? 

[rojash]

Well, if you don't know, I'm afraid you don't stand that much of a chance at all...

[Hgrove]

Best of all would be if you have a friend in common (not your flatmate obviously) who can arrange a dinner party or similar where you two will be seated together; then you have a chance to talk to her, and ask her out. If there is something she likes (a film/concert/exhibition) you may casually have a couple of free tickets etc.

[netibiza]

Take a deep breath, go up to her and ask if she would like to join you for a coffee or something light.  If she says no, then you were never in with a chance.. Keep it casual.

[Scarlett]

I agree with netibiza. Those glances you are describing could be absolutely nothing. They could also be that you are the only thing linking her to him, and she could still be really hung up on him. Just ask her out! That's the only way of knowing.

[5029]

Make sure those long lingering glances aren't actually dirty looks to the friend of the bloke that gave her the push!

[Laura-sakura]

The long lingering glances could well be looks of disgust.  She probably thinks you're a total ******* like your friend appears to be.  Good luck.

[Cheesefreek]

Ask her out.  I used to hate it when I gave long lingering glances to guys and they didn't get the hint.  What's the worst thing that could happen?  She could say no.  But at least you'll have found out.

[Dom Tuk]

But did you not say that you were doing it with a 17 year old waitress in answer to an AB question about what others are doing this long weekend. So i take it that your relationship with this 17 year old waitress is public knowledge (well, we all know about it) so i take it the stunner you refer to in your question also knows about it. i see a problem with this Andy008. You will now have to publicly dump this waitress, wait a couple of weeks for things to cool down (and not be seen as a dirty ****** with no qualms) and then ask this stunnner out. By which time someone will have beaten you to it....but hey life is a bitch.......:-)

[MissCommando]

It sounds to me as though you're definitely in with a chance.  'Long, lingering glances' eh?  well she wouldn't do that if she didn't like you or thought you were a ***** as someone suggested.  She probably feels awkward that you're the friend of your flatmate.  Maybe ask her out for a drink or maybe just ask her how she is etc.  I am **** at giving the advice of what you should do next but I do think the guy should make the 1st move. . . hope it goes well, keep us posted x

[indian]

Just go up to her and make idle chit chat, not for too long and then say u'll see her around. you should get a better idea if she likes you if she flirts, doesnt look like she wants run away etc. Then next time you see her you can ask her if she wants to go out for a drink some time. If she says no, just say it was nice talking to you, see you around, that way you keep your dignity and if i was her would be impressed by the way you took the rejection. Good luck

[secretspirit]

Why not ask her out for a drink yourself and see what happens? Maybe even though she's stunning as you say her and your flatmate just didn't have much in common personality wise? By the way when you speak to her I would dwell too much on what happened between her and your friend!

[secretspirit]

Oops I meant I *wouldn't* dwell too much on it, and make it clear you're not just after sex as well (if you're not).

[RogK]

So, he took her out for a drink, shagged her a couple of times and eventually dumped her because she wanted a relationship and he didn't. Was this all on the same night? Sounds to me like you all deserve each other.

[Andy008]

I did say I was doing it with a waitress....I didn't say I regarded it as any more than a bit of fun. Her glancing at me could well mean I'm a dodgy, immature, ******* like my mate who dumped her. But then may be they don't.